Guns and Swords
by Darkwarrior17
Summary: An evil is lurking in videogame land, who has capture the SSB, forcing them to fight in his heavily commercialized tournament. How will the Smashers escape? Fin.
1. The Worst of Times

This is my second fanfic. My first one stunk so bad I took it off in less then 48 hours. Let's hope this does better.

Guns and Swords

I

Worst of times

In a time slightly before the Melee Smashers arrived, the SSB lived in a shack. Not a nice shack either. To some, an outhouse might be more desirable. As you can imagine living, eating and sleeping less then five feet from any of the smashers is not fun.

"I am going to kill that yellow mouse!" Link shouted as he went tearing through the house at full speed after Pikachu. His hair was standing on end and it didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened.

Luckily for Pikachu, the Master Hand stopped Link from cutting Pikachu, or the shack, to shreds.

"Why can't any of you get along?" he shouted despairingly. "It's hard enough to sleep without you running around and screaming!"

"Hey it's not my fault!" Link shouted back. "He's the one who shocked me in the first place."

"Pika pi" Pikachu squeaked.

Bam!

"Will you shut up? I'm trying to sleep here!" Samus' voice drifted from a smoking hole in the wall.

"Why does she get a room to herself?" an ash-incrusted Link asked coldly.

"We've been through this before! She's the only girl and deserves a room to herself!" the Master Hand was beginning to shout again.

"You're just afraid because you know she can beat you!"

"Pika!" sparks were beginning to fly.

"Why you little..."

Bamm!!!!!!!!!!!

"I said shut up!"

"You shut up!"

"Pika fire!"

Ness's shot got everything going. Smashers were joining the fight until only Kirby was left sleeping. When he finally did awake and see the carnage, his primal instincts kicked in and he began to suck... and suck... and suck... until every last smasher was in a now giant pink ball.

"Stupid, pink tapioca-like puff ball!" Fox's muffled voice came from inside Kirby.

Little did they know, they were being watched.

"Foolish smashers!" said a deep voice. "Their lack of unity will be their downfall! But for now I must gather the other people. And soon all hope for gamer will be gone! Mwuhaha! Ha ha ha! Ha HAAAAAAAAA!"

A crazed laughter. An evil laughter. But mostly crazed. This villain would test the strength of the smashers... and video gamers everywhere!

Darkwarrior17: There. I'm too tired to write more. Please review and I will have chapter two up as soon as possible.


	2. Captives

Darkwarrior17: Back again! I'm trying to stay consistent. I think I am doing OK. Oh, Genny, if my stories are short then yours are tiny. But anyway here's chapter 2. Oh and whenever scenes switch there will be a ping.

Guns and Swords

II

Captives

Kirby still had everyone in his mouth. The beaten-up shack was now reduced to two rooms: the boys' room and the kitchen.

"Umm Kirby? Anytime you feel like letting us out is just fine with me." The Master Hand and everyone else had cooled down by now.

_Phooooo!!!!_

The smashers went flying in a giant star, destroying the rest of the boys' room.

"About time." said Fox as he raised his blaster. By the time it was up Kirby had transformed himself into a rock and there was no chance of hurting him. "D--- him!" (A/N: I'm just going to bleep words like that out, k?)

"Great. Now we've got to remake the shack." The Master Hand griped.

"Let's do a better job this time." Link said. "For now, Kirby and I will find some building material. Master Hand, you draw up the designs. And the rest of you..." he paused. "stay out of trouble."

"Hey!"

Ping!

Ganondorf, of the game Zelda, was bored. Not surprising since Link moved into the smasher group. No matter how many times he kidnapped Zelda nothing would happen except young Link would kill some oversized spiders. Maybe if he tracked old Link down he could figure out a way to kill him.

"Sir?"

Ganondorf snapped back into reality. One of his servants was pulling on his shoulder. Not something any trained guy would do. This dude was obviously new, or very stupid.

"Young Link is asking for your presence."

"Hmmmmm" he grunted as he got up. He would let the servant go. This time. "Tell him if this is not important I will send him and his fairy's butts all the way to who knows where."

"Yes sir."

_Phhhhhhht_

There was suddenly a dart in his neck. He could feel the drug going through him. His servant was triumphantly grinning. In his last waking moments Ganondorf sent his so-called servant out the window.

Ping!

"Two in one nutshell. This is easier then I thought." The evil voice again. Ganondorf and young Link were oh-so-easy to catch."

"But sir, what about the dead grothlin?"

"Expendable. He was a bad actor anyway. I am mighty surprised that Ganondorf did not kill him quicker."

"Yes sir."

"Now for old Link and Fox..."

Ping!

"D--- all these twigs- so annoying!" Link griped. "Why did I choose myself for this?"

He and Kirby had been searching for hours for good materials. This had been hard and boring work until...

_Phhhhht_

Luckily Link had just bent down to pick up some stuff and he wasn't completely unprepared for what happened next. A dart went straight passed his head and into a tree. Immediately Kirby turned into a rock and Link had no choice but to draw his sword. It was halfway out when another dart hit him in the back. In his last moments of consciousness he whispered to a rock that he hoped was Kirby "Run... go find help..." Even though the rock he was talking to wasn't Kirby, Kirby still got the message. He watched as Link was dragged off and then ran off and was gone till later in this story.

Finish! Two chapters in one night now I just need to... Zzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzz


	3. Ambush

Darkwarrior17: I'm baaack! As I said I'm trying to stay consistent. Although, three chapters in such a short time is a bit extreme.

**xaio23**: I seriously am making most of this up as I go so it just came to mind and I used him. Thanks for reviewing. You're my first reviewer! (Except for my sister, but she doesn't count) But anyhow, let's get chapter 3 going.

Guns and Swords

III

Ambush

Young Link woke up with a searing pain in his head. Everything looked fuzzy. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to move. His head was coming to and he opened his eyes and tried to focus. It was then that he realized he was in a glass tube. His head was clearing some more now and he tried to remember what had happened. He was going to a castle and then...

"Oh no..."

He looked over and there was an unconscious Ganondorf and, two rows down, Adult Link, also out.

"Don't worry. I'll be moving you into a bigger containment area as soon as once everyone else is here." said a cold, deep voice.

"Who the h--- are you?"

This time a different voice came. "Heh heh, it seems we caught a potty mouth. Shall we flush him?"

"Quite, Grothlik, or you will be joining them. Now soundproof the glass and revive the others. We have work to do..."

Ping!

It had been five hours since Link and Kirby went out.

"You think I should add a laser cannon?" The Master Hand asked as he was making some final touches on his diagram... over and over and over.

"Aren't you the least bit worried?"

"About the foundation? Yeah, that could be a problem. Maybe we should make it out of steel."

"No you idiot!" Samus shouted. "I mean about Link and Kirby!"

"Oh I'm sure they just know we need lots of materia..." he trailed off. A dart was protruding from his pinky. He collapsed.

"Get down!" Fox shouted.

It was too late. A hail of darts rained down upon them. Mario, Fox, Donkey Kong, and Captain Falcon were hit. All but Fox went down instantly. He and Samus (whose armor the darts could not penetrate) began firing into the bushes and little men wearing hockey masks, armed with dart guns went flying. The smaller smashers tried to escape but were caught in nets that they could not penetrate.

"D--- little buggers!" Samus shouted as Fox went down.

She continued firing and it might half gone on for sometime if one of the little men hadn't thrown an electric net at her.

She was down in 7.28 seconds.

Ping!

Kirby was lost. Not like an "I think that if I go that way, I'll hit blah, blah." No. he was lost, lost. He didn't even know who Link wanted him to get. Suddenly he was struck by a thought. "Aha!" he shouted as he stuck a pudgy hand up into the air. He then pulled out a cell phone and began to dial...

Ping!

"How many died?" the voice asked.

"Twenty six, sir, and more wounded."

"If you had done as I instructed you would not have lost any."

"We did exactly as you said. We hit the Master Hand first and then scattered darts into them. But Fox stayed up and we could not penetrate Samus' armor. Were you not watching?"

Sigh "No. I was not. Now put the ones we need into their tubes and gather the other ones we need."

"But what of the spares?"

"We do not want them to be a problem. Throw them into a cell and I will inspect them later."

Darkwarrior17: Finished! My longest chapter yet. Please review and I will have chapter four up A.S.A.P.!


	4. Evil Revealed

Darkwarrior17: Sorry it took so long. I've been kind of busy with homework and camp plus I haven't gotten a lot of reviews. That's very discouraging. But enough about my problems. Here is chapter 4.

REMINDER: Changes between places will be marked with a "ping!"

Guns and Swords

IV

Evil Revealed

In a cold dark cell somewhere in the northern region of the Nintendo world, the remaining smashers were going insane.

"Oh mama mia, I'll never see Peach again!" Mario sobbed.

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP! We heard you the first time and the second time and all the times after that!" Ness shouted at him. "It's not like we don't have anyone on the outside."

Mario: "Eh?"

Ness: "Oh so now you're Canadian, huh? Haven't you realized Kirby's not here?"

Mario: "No."

Ness: "Good grief."

D.K.: "Rarough!"

Pikachu: "Pika pi…"

Jigglypuff: "Jiggly?"

Pikachu: "Pika pika pika… chu!"

Yoshi: "Yoshi!"

Mario: "I'm living in a ZOO!"

Ness: "Pansy. Wait, someone's coming!"

"Your psychic ability is beyond what I imagined. Very good." said a cold, dark voice. The torches around the cell flickered and went out simultaneously, and everything was plunged into pure black.

"Don't bother trying it on me, or you will be in a coma for weeks." The voice continued, this time from another area of the room.

"Who the hell are you?" (A/N: I give up) Ness whispered.

"Oh come now, isn't it obvious?" the voice answered from yet another part of the room. The voice echoed making it impossible to tell were it was coming from.

"Why on earth would we know?" Mario shot back at it.

"Just a second. Let's see. One, two, three, four, five, six…" the voice paused. It suddenly got angry and yelled "Where is the pink ball!"

"Jiggly?"

Bam!

Something was now holding Jigglypuff to the wall of the cell. "No, not you, moron! The one called Kirby."

There was silence from the cell.

"Oh, so we're going to play it the hard way, huh? Well, no food for you till you tell me where he is!"

"You have interesting ways of getting what you want." commented Ness. "If you want to know something, then tell us something we want to know."

"And that is?" The voice was now normal.

"First off I want to know what is happening. Secondly, where are the others? And thirdly, who are you?" Ness finished.

"That's three questions to my one, and I hold the upper hand. Which is the most important to you, and I will answer that."

There was a pause and some whispering from the cell. Then Ness said "We will not tell you unless you answer two questions. Plus we can also tell you something you probably want to know."

"I'll be the judge of that. Tell me and you may or may not get two answers. What do I need to know?"

"That Kirby has four brothers that he can summon with autodial on his cell at any time." Ness replied.

"Why is that important?"

"You will see. Just keep watching the news."

"Alright then where is Kirby now?"

"The only place that he has complete sanctuary from idiots with dart guns, which is the woods. Either that or he is roaming the area, trying to do something I'm not even sure of. Now, what are you doing and who are you?"

"Straight to the point, I see. Well, what I am doing here is sort of like getting revenge while being the biggest fan of yours in the world. You don't get it do you?"

The smashers slowly shook their heads.

"Okay, this could take some explaining. The main reason I did this is to kill the Master Hand. That is already done. You didn't know that, did you? Ha, suckers. Well, the other reason is to make sure your talent does not go to waste. So, I decided that you could fight for me for my own profits. There is a great show coming, and your little friends will be the stars! Mwahaha! Have you figured out what the pattern to who is missing? You haven't? Good, this could be fun. I'll give you a hint. Some do not quite fit into the categories. No help? Well then I'll just have to tell you!" He said this in a taunting voice that made Donkey Kong want to tear down the bars and kill the voice.

"The people who I have selected for the tournament do have a pattern. Much to the contrary of what you think. No I'm not just taunting you. All the people chosen carry a weapon that puts them into two categories. One group carries a gun and the other a sword. Except for Zelda and Captain Falcon; I threw them in to even up the teams. And Ganondorf carries a sword but never uses it. I guess I just like him."

"There are still uneven teams." Ness pointed out.

"Yes but thanks to cloning tech I can make a few more." The voice replied. "The next question: Who I am. Who am I?" It almost sounded as if he was searching for the answer himself.

"Ah yes." The voice said almost to himself. "I remember. I used to be called…" he paused again. "Hector. Hector Hand was who I used to be. Until the accident…" the voice was now rambling to itself and it had lost the evil feel to it. "That was years ago. In the lab…creating monsters…with _him_." His voice went harsh and evil again. "I was the greater one till it blew and destroyed my brain… It's all his fault!" He suddenly stopped and all the torches flared up, revealing a… hand?

"That's right! It is I, the amazing Crazy Hand, Brother and Destroyer of the Master Hand! And that is why your psychic abilities will not work on me!" He began giggling like some sick mind who had just stolen candy from a baby.

Ping!

"Hi-Ii!"

"Hi-Ii!"

"Hi-Ii!"

"Hi-Ii!"

Ping!

Peach's castle had a magnificent stain glass window that pictured Peach. That's where the robbers entered.

Peach was dining with Luigi and Toad when they heard a crash. Thinking it was Bowser, Peach and Toad hid in different spots of the castle while Luigi went to investigate.

"Hey Bowser, I know you're in here." he said as he walked onto the glass covered floor of the front hall.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHPhwaaaaaaaa!" was what Peach heard from her hiding spot. "Bowser?" she whispered coming out. "Bowser?" she said a little louder. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHPhwaaaaaaa!"

Ping!

Newscaster: "Here we are at the infamous King Koopa Bowser's Castle, who is suspected to have kidnapped Luigi and Princess Peach. The only witness is Toad, the short, mushroom-headed, unappreciated racer, who has been helping Mario since some of the earlier games. Anyway, let's go to the Chief Of Police."

Chief: "Right now we have surrounded the castle and are sending in a S.W.A.T. team to bring 'em out."

"Um, sir?" Some S.W.A.T. personnel was tapping at the chief's shoulder. "It's not the Koopa, sir."

"WHAT!"

"Bowser has been taken too, sir."

"Get the press out of here!"

The newscaster suddenly pointed up and exclaimed, "What the hell is that up there?"

The camera suddenly zoomed in on four different colored dots, now floating out of the castle.

Chief: Shoot them! Bring 'em down!"

There was a lot of shooting until a flame ball came from one of the balls and a long shoot of flame from another.

"What the…AHHHHHHH!!!"

There was only static on the television screen.

Beeeooop

"Hey I was watching that!" Popo wined.

"I don't care it will warp your mind! Now get to the table and get ready to eat." Nana shot back.

In the kitchen of the Inuit home in the mountains was Mr. G&W. He and the ice climbers had been living together since their games had become dormant. He flipped some sausage from his pan onto a plate. "Beeeeep" He shouted. Then the door bell rang, playing a bunch of little blurbs of old video game music. "Beep" He said as he went to get the door.

PHWAAAAAAAAA!

"Mr. G&W?" Nana asked and went to the door herself.

PHWAAAAAAAAA!

"Nana, I'm starving!"

PHWAAAAAAAAA!

Darkwarrior17: There. That took me forever. Pleezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz review. Come on I'm desperate. Sigh. Oh well. My sister, the wonderful genny62890 cough™cough, says that people won't understand the "Hi-Ii!". It's just when you tap the L button in the first version. Not sure about the second though. Anyway, see you soon.


	5. Training

Darkwarrior17: I'm baaaaaaack! Happy Thanksgiving! I'm sorry that it took so long to get chapter four up but with FanFiction being down and all it took a while. But I'm surprised it took such a short time afterward to get mine up. I'd say about two or three or four hours.

**Xiao23: THANK YOU **for reviewing. My idle threats weren't working. Yes, amazing mirror did just come out, but I decided it would be fun to use for my purposes. Also, if you think I have it, I don't.

**Niyanna: **I got another reviewer! Oh, and I haven't forgotten about Fox. He just wasn't in the chapter.

Also: I would like to thank the site of Nintendorks. They have supplied me with amazing information on all the characters. I am saying this with my own free will, in case any of you were wondering.

Guns and Swords

V

Training

The smashers that were selected for the tournament were now stuck in two big tubes, which had enough room for everyone to lie down and still be far enough away from everyone else. That was very important.

"Samus! Stop pointing that thing at me!" Falco yelled at Samus, who was polishing her gun and "accidentally" charging it.

"I didn't mean too, you stupid bird! Why don't you guys move all the way to the other end so I can have my privacy?"

"Why? WHY! Because you always get your own stupid way back at the mansion, and now that the Master Hand is not here, I'm not going to let you do everything you want." Fox shouted back.

"Why you little…"

Bam!

Samus had fired off her blaster. Fortunately, Fox is one of the quicker smashers and managed to dodge out of the way. Unfortunately, the walls of the tube were laser proof, sending the shot all over the place until it hit Captain Falcon, who was dozing.

"What the hell was that for?!" He shouted at Samus.

"It wasn't my fault! Fox was the one who ducked!"

"But you're the one who fired it!"

Brrrrzzzaaaaaaaappp!

An electric jolt was sent through them from their neck.

"What the heck is this?" Fox asked as he noticed for the first time he was wearing some sort of collar.

"It's a shock collar. Master, Krima, and I are the only ones to carry the remotes." A small toad-like creature walked on three of his four limbs to the edge of the tube.

"Now stop arguing or I'll shock you until you don't know which way's up. And when the door opens don't bother trying to run."

"Wait, wait, wait, you're letting us out?" Captain Falcon asked.

"Master wishes for you to see the crew. You will be going with your opposing team to the arena. Now get ready to come out."

A section of the wall gave away, showing a metal door. The metal door the opened, this time revealing an arsenal of the men in hockey masks.

"Right this way." The creature, smirking, said, pointing to a path between the little men.

Ping!

The arena was humongous. On the outside it looked like a futuristic coliseum, only with out any windows or statues. On the inside it was more of a football stadium, only much, much bigger.

"Shit this place is big." Ganondorf said in awe.

"Where the heck is this thing going to take place?" Samus asked the creature. There was just a bottomless pit in front of the stands. (A/N Okay, the creatures name is Grothlik. I just got tired of typing creature.)

Brzaaap!

"Ow!"

"Hold your questions for later. We need to visit our training specialists." Grothlik said.

"Wait a minute. What trainers?"

Brrzaaap!

"I said no more questions!"

Ping!

"Boss man, have you heard the news?"

The Crazy Hand looked down from his newspaper he was reading.

"You think that if I'm reading a newspaper entitled 'Balloon Bandits Strike Again' that I am not going to know what you're about to say. I am surrounded by idiots who can't even read! All your good for is ambushing and security! Otherwise you're just a bunch of dopes with bad manners!" He started panting heavily and if he had eyes they would be bloodshot.

"Um, boss? I was talking about the Dairy Queen up the road giving out free ice cream. Boss?"

Ping!

The short, black alien that was to be the smashers' instructor stood before them. He was quite a bit less then intimidating. He looked like a kid who had grown little bat wings and spikes on his head.

"They're all yours, sucker." Grothlik chuckled.

The instructor's eye flashed and a short blue ball of flame shot at Grothlik as he walked off. The reaction was quite hilarious, and Grothlik had to be restrained in order for him not to go after the trainer.

"I'll get you before this thing is up! Just because you can do stuff that no one else can do doesn't make you invincible!" Grothlik shouted as he was dragged off.

"Yes, actually it does." The alien said dryly. "Now, to business. I will be your instructor, trainer, tutor, mentor, etc. I will not teach you how to fight, or how to win the tournament. I will teach you the rules of the tournament, and I will teach what to do for the crowd. That and…" the alien went on, sounding like a military man in front of his troops. Many of the smashers were dumbfounded by the little guy, but Ganondorf and Falco were trying their best not to laugh.

The alien stopped.

"You two. Come here." It said.

The two stopped and came forward.

"C'mon. You two seem like to big tough guys who could take me on. Go ahead. Knock yourselves out.

Ganondorf shot out a fist at him. It was deflected. He swung again. This time he was lifted up by an invisible force and swung around.

Taking his chance, Falco shot his blaster. This too was deflected but this time multiple shots came back. Falco was sent flying.

The creature eyes flashed again. Both of them were shot back in line, bruised and dazed.

"Anyone else?" The alien asked.

There was silence.

"Good. Now as you can see, I am not of this earth. I could kill you all right now if I wanted to. So let's listen up, shall we? Excellent. The teams will be:

Swords: Marth and Roy, Link and Zelda, Young Link and Ganondorf, and Sheik.

Guns: Samus and Captain Falcon, Fox and Falco, Clone Fox and Clone Falco, and either Commander Keen or another clone."

"Who the heck is Commander Keen?" Samus asked.

"He's an old video game character on very old computers. He was brought to game boy but failed miserably. Now the first fights will be like this:

Clones Keen or clones Fox and Falco Samus and C. Falcon

V.S. V.S. V.S. V.S.

Shiek Ganondorf Y. Link Marth and Roy Link and Zelda

"You will get one wish that I will grant to you, within reason. That is my own rule." He eyed them funnily. "Now get back in your cell and get some good sleep! You have a fight tomorrow!"

Ping!

The Crazy Hand was in a very irritable mood. He was now watching T.V., where whatever you turned to there was news on the Balloon Bandits.

"The Balloon Bandits have now captured…" Shrzzz boop "Here we are now with a man who swears he knows who the Balloon Bandits are." "I swears they are my uncle…" Shrzzz boop "The Balloon Bandits have struck again!... Shrzzz boop Almost all video gamers everywhere have been taken. Only Dr. Mario has not been taken, plus the Sonic team and Bomberman… Shrzzz boop "He's been taken! Dr. Mario has been taken!" BEEEOoooop.

The Crazy Hand was now at the point of squashing the next person who got in his way.

"Sir, the stadium is a sellout. Practically everyone is coming." Grothlik said. Apparently he was too valuable to dispose of.

"Get full security up! Arm every cannon we got! Those Balloon Bandits aren't getting through here! Heeheeheehehe." The madness was quite apparent.

Everything was set. The tournament was about to begin.

Darkwarrior17: Please tell me if you have any idea who Commander Keen is. If you don't, I'll use a clone. Well, anyway, thanks for reading. Chapter six will be up soon!


	6. The Tournament Begins

Darkwarrior17: I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, but my grounding and other things have slowed me up. Okay, fine I was procrastinating and playing Starcraft. So sue me.

­­­­­­­­­­

Guns and Swords

VI

The Tournament Begins

In the tubes of the captives, the smashers and others were going over what was told to them. In other words, they were arguing.

"I can't believe I'm stuck with that little whelp." Ganondorf griped.

"Hey! I defeated you!" Y. Link protested.

"Yeah, but only 'cause of old Link."

BRZZZAT!

"Ow!"

"SHUT UP AND GO TO BED! YOU'VE GOT STUFF TO DO TOMMOROW!" Grothlik was growing tired of guarding the smashers and was showing it. He started shocking Link repeatedly to vent his anger.

BRZZZAT!

"Ow!"

BRZZZAT!

"Ow!"

BRZZZAT!

"Ow!"

BRZZZAT!

"Ow!"

BRZZZAT!

"Ow!"

"What the hell is your-BRZZZAT Ow-problem?!" Link shouted at the creature.

"Nothing. I just hate you and I felt like hurting you." Grothlik smirked. He was starting to enjoy this job. He continued shocking Link until…

"What are you doing to the prisoners?" a calm voice asked him.

"Hey, I can do this if I wa…"

BAM!

A large, light brown, grasshopper-like thing punched Grothlik straight into the glass cylinder in front.

"What is up with place and aliens?" Samus asked.

"This place is a hot spot for extra-terrestrial life forms. Many work here. Some just come to see the fights. Anyway, my name is Rasaara, and I am the technical genius behind this thing." The insect said.

"Okay… why are you here?"

"To give you earphones, communications, mini cameras, etc, etc. You guys are going to be wired by tomorrow."

"Great. Just what I've always wanted." Marth said sarcastically.

"Hey could someone help me?" Grothlik asked, his head deeply bashed into the tube.

Rasaara looked at him and roared. Loudly. He had two rows of teeth bared while he was doing so. The effect was that of which any brave, able-bodied man could not stand up to. Grothlik did not even stand a chance.

"He fainted right out!" Said a bug eyed Zelda.

"Little eejit. Don't know how anyone can put up with him." Rasaara said looking down at Grothlik. "Now let's get you wired."

Ping!

Rasaara was back in his lab half an hour later. He climbed into his chair and started typing.

"Hacking the TV networks, right?" said a voice behind him. A pair of large, completely white eyes appeared in the darkness of the room.

"Yes." There was a long silence except for the clacking of keys.

You know we're not going to survive this. (A/N this is just telepathy.)

Rasaara sighed. "Yes. I know."

There was another long silence. And then the eyes faded.

Ping!

"And here we are at the biggest tournament ever! I'm your host, Troy Isaacs and this is my assistant, Chlöe Larson."

"Hi everybody!"

"Yes, and here we are up in the Goodyear Blimp. So who's fighting now, Chlöe?"

"It seems today we've got Marth and Roy versus Fox and Falco."

"That's great and here they are coming out onto the stadium. It seems today's arena is Corneria, or the Star Fox master ship for those of you who don't know."

"Ooh! The fight's starting!"

Ping!

Five minutes earlier at the warp area, the Crazy Hand was giving a "pep talk".

"Each of you gets three lives per round. It's very simple. The losers of the matches will be suspended…" They all looked up eagerly. "from a hundred foot high cliff over molten lava. At the end of the tournament we'll cut the ropes. Oh and if one of you doesn't fight he will have the same punishment."

"What if none of us fight?" Roy asked hopefully.

"Same thing, only this time over a layer of spikes, then cheese graters, then acid and then lava."

"Well it's a cool way to go-oof." Falco was saying until Fox punched him in the stomach.

"Right then off you go. I've got big money on Fox."

"Hey!"

Bam!

"Ooff!"

Slap!

"Ahhhhhhhhh!"

"Who's next?"

Ping!

Six minutes later…

"Let the tournament begin!" The Crazy Hand shouted.

Roy, doing his best to get a good starting hit, slashed downwards with his sword at Fox. It was a hard move to avoid.

Bam!

"Wow, now that's a good hit!"

Marth, on the other hand, got hit by a quick Firebird and was being pummeled to the edge by Falco's blaster. Roy did a quick leap over Fox and hit Falco and Fox by slashing forward then backward. A "down A" move for Roy.

Fox quickly recovered and fired five shots at Roy, while Marth started to charge his sword.

Bam!

"And that's the first K.O. by Marth, done on Falco."

"Look Troy, the first item's come down!"

"Yes, so it has. It appears to be a star rod from the Kirby games."

Fox quickly rolled under Roy and grabbed it, shooting a star at Marth in the same motion. Falco at this time was back on the stadium, this time a lot more wary of Marth's B move. He quickly charged forward in a Falco Phantasm and sent Marth over the cliff to the engine part of the ship. He quickly jumped down only to be met by Marth's Dolphin slash. Fortunately for Falco, Marth had made the move too long ago for it to do a lot of damage, but it did send him flying back.

Roy, on the other side of the field, was losing to Fox as he fired star after star after star. When the star rod finally lost its power, Roy was at 115. Fox, taking advantage of this, performed a fire fox only to be dodged. And off the cliff Fox went.

"Ooh and there goes Fox. Wait, what was that?" Chlöe asked.

"Wait a minute…" Roy said looking over the edge.

Bam!

"Oh, he still managed to get back on. And hit Roy for a bonus."

"That's right Troy. He sent Roy flying. His percent is now at 220. Wow, another hit and he's done for."

"Look, an Item box!"

"Yes!" Marth shouted, grabbing the box and throwing it at Fox.

Pow!

The box opened, throwing Fox closer to the edge and revealing a Tomato, a Green Shell, and a Fire Flower.

Marth grabbed the tomato and the green shell and threw it, knocking Fox off the cliff. He then grabbed the Fire Flower, waited for Fox to come back, and threw it. Fox didn't stand a chance.

"And Fox is gone! The gun team is the only team to have lost lives. It doesn't look so good for them! Let's take a look at Falco for a while."

Falco right now was beating the crap out of Marth. Marth was at 155 and gaining fast.

"Ahhhhh… Fire!" Falco shouted, sending Marth upwards. When he was halfway down Falco jumped up and started kicking Marth rapidly.

"You're going to be finished soon!" he shouted, kicking Marth into the wall.

Bam!

Marth brought his sword up quickly into Falco's beak. It wasn't enough to do much damage but it sent Falco back a few feet.

"That was unexpected." Falco said. Marth adopted a defensive stance and flashed purple for a split second.

"Oh, is that supposed to scare me!" Falco shouted coming forward with his fist ready.

Bam!

The sword went forward quickly again, but this time it sent Falco farther. He went off the cliff, giving Marth a few seconds to clear out of the area. But a few seconds later Falco was back on.

"Dammit, I have got to stop underestimating that sword!" Falco's percent was now at 115, and he was starting to get tired of getting beat up. It was then that it hit him. Literally.

"A Pokeball? Yes!" He grabbed the pokeball, jumped up and threw it at Marth, who was trying to hit Fox from behind.

Bam!

The throw had been a far one, but it still managed to hit Marth from behind, pushing him onto to the head of the ship. The Pokeball then unleashed revealing… Ho-ho! It flew up, throwing flames down on not only Marth, but Fox and Roy too, much to the annoyance of Fox.

"Damn you, Falco!" Fox screamed at him.

The rain of fire ended, leaving Fox at 55, Marth at 205 and Roy at 190.

"Ahhhhhh…," Falco began.

"Oh shi…"

"FIRE!"

Marth was instantly blown away, but Roy managed to only be knocked off the cliff. Unfortunately, he does not have a good recovery move.

"Marth and Roy down in one hit! Is that amazing or what?"

"And Fox and Falco seem to be strategizing. I wonder what they're saying."

Ping!

"NO YOU IDIOTS, YOU'RE GOING TO GET KILLED!" Rasaara was shouting at the monitors in his lab. "Quick, an item! Uhhhhhhhh… Yes!" Click

"How much did you put on Fox and Falco?" The eyes were back again, watching the moniters.

"500 dollars! And I know it doesn't matter."

Ping!

"Okay, you got it, Falco?"

"Got it! Hey a Hammer!"

He quickly ran for it, and it was quickly grabbed by…Marth.

"Oh shi-BONG!" Falco was K.O.ed instantly.

"This isn't the plaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" Fox off the cliff!

Ping!

"Just curious, who was that hammer for?" The eyes asked.

"SHUT UP!"

Ping!

Roy still had the hammer, so he managed to bop them both up to 165. By that time it had become clear that Fox and Falco could not win. It was finally over when Marth preformed his dancing blade.

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the end of the first fight. Why don't you join us for Tourney Talk, where we will be analyzing the killer points of the fight." Troy blabbed on.

"But don't forget to be back in an hour and a half for Commander Keen versus Sheik."

Ping!

Marth and Roy were still on the stadium. They stood in awe of the stands in front of them, witch had been invisible seconds before.

"What on earth?..." Marth whispered.

"It was an illusion. I put in contact lenses that would show you what we want the background to be." A voice crackled in their ears.

"What the…oh the grass hopper." Roy said "That's right, we've got mikes and everything."

"Will you just quit standing there and gabbing! The warp gate is ahead."

Ping!

"That's one down, lots to go. Grothlik, get me a better gambler!" The Crazy Hand said. "Now to pay back those idiots."

Ping!

"No, there isa nothing… Wait! A pipe right there!" Mario said, pointing to one of the walls.

"Yes! Okay, D.K., start digging. Yoshi, you get rid of the dirt. Every one else, take a nap." Ness was now giving instructions on their escape plan. Luckily for them, their captors had been too stupid to leave guards, so it was easy to plan this stuff. They should be out by night fall…

Darkwarrior17: It took me three damn days to do it, but I'm finished! Uh-huh, go me, go me! Happy Holidays everyone and sorry about the wait.


	7. The Second Fight

Darkwarrior17: Great. I didn't save and I lost my first version of this chapter. I hate me. Oh, and recently a few people have reviewed me. That makes me happy. Now then, on with the show!!!!!!!!!

Guns and Swords

VII

The Second Fight

In the depths of The Crazy Castle a pit of lava was bubbling away five hundred feet below a couple of losers. They had been hung there, by their feet, in a place where anyone who cared to could drop by and laugh at them. Either that or throw things…

"You morons! I bet $100 on you!" A purple, stalk eyed alien yelled at Fox and Falco. He then proceeded to throw a couple of tomatoes at them until he got bored. He then walked off.

"How did we get here?" Falco asked rhetorically.

"Well, first we were born, and then we became pilots, and then…"

"I didn't mean it that way! Oh, never mind."

Ping!

"And that's what we have on Tourney Talk. Now we will be getting to the second round, Commander Keen vs. Sheik! What can we get on these two?" Troy announced.

"While, after a little research, I have found out that both of these characters are alter egos. Sheik is Zelda of the Legend of Zelda games. Commander Keen is really Billy, who, after putting on his brother's football helmet, transforms into the defender of the universe. Sheik's main weapon is needles that are shot forward at the target character. Keen's is a blaster that can be set to different powers of blast: Stun, Kill, and Deep Fry. Similar in ways, but different in others." Chlöe informed the crowd.

"Thanks Chlöe. The fighters will be fighting at Great Bay. This is Troy Isaacs, up in the GoodYear Blimp, which is the official sponsor of the Guns and Swords Tournament!"

Ping!

"Boss, the police are here. They said something about taking your tournament off all of the television channels."

"Blow em' to bits."

Ping!

The fighters were in their starting positions on. They had gotten the same speech that Fox, Falco, Marth and Roy had gone through. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. They were both ready to fight. Keen had come voluntarily and Shiek was about ready to beat the crap out of anybody. It was going to be a hell of a fight.

"Five… Four… Three… Two… One… GO!" The Crazy Hand shouted.

Sheik immediately teleported onto a palm tree, where she then charged up two needles before she was knocked off by a pogo stick move by Keen. She was thrown onto the turtle but quickly regained her balance and fired her needles. Keen managed to dodge the first one but the other hit dead on. He was thrown into the water and, as some of you may know, it is next to impossible to get back on to the stage on this level. Keen life two, Shiek three.

"Ouch, that was an amazingly short time for the first K.O. to happen. Keen better get a good strategy soon, or he's history."

Fortunately for him, Keen had. He used his pogo stick to jump onto the turtle, fired three shots at Shiek, jumped down onto a platform and fired again. This was working against Shiek and she was soon very close to the edge with a percent of 110.

Ping!

The captive Smashers had made a hole five feet in diameter and seven feet deep. They were about to give up when…

Thunk!

Ness looked up from where he was dozing.

"What was that? Have we hit something?"

"Jiggly!"

"Pika pi!"

"Yes! Now we've got to break the pipe so we can all get through. Okay. We need the best non-physical attack. Ready? One, two, three!"

Boom!

Ping!

Wham!

Shiek hit Keen with a double kick that sent him sprawling. She jumped down to get another hit on him, only to be repelled by Keen's blaster. The shot sent her flying onto the turtle who at that moment decided to sink. Keen lives two, Shiek two also.

"Oh, darn, that was complete luck that she lost a life."

"Yes it was, wasn't it Troy. Oh, and look, the first item's falling!"

It was a lip's stick, one of the least effective blunt weapons, but still not bad.

Keen leaped for it, but Sheik's whip caught his leg in the air and pulled him back towards her. Keen, thinking quickly, grabbed his blaster and fired, but this proved useless, for Sheik was now twisting him around, slamming him into the platform above and then off the platform and into the water. This time he managed to get back up, taking Sheik by surprise as he fired shot after shot into her.

Boom!

"What was that?" Troy asked, trying to see through the smoke that now filled the arena.

Bonk!

When the smoke cleared, there was Sheik, standing on a palm tree, holding the lipstick. Keen was below her, with a percent 30 higher than it had previously, and a look that said, "I have no more idea of what happened here than you do". And sprouting out of his helmet was a flower.

"What the… let's figure out what happened here. There was Sheik getting hit by Keen's blaster, and then she must have teleported backward, grabbed the lip's stick, teleported forward, hit Keen with the weapon, and then teleported up. That's a guess people but I'd say it's the best so far."

"Yeah right, Troy."

Actually Troy was closer to the truth than most would have thought. Shiek had teleported backwards and picked up the lip's stick. But she had not teleported forward. Instead she had shot a needle at Keen and then jumped forward, and hit Keen with the flower twice. She had teleported to the palm tree and had knocked Keen back a few feet. But, needless to say, no one believed Troy. To this day it's thought that Sheik has a secret attack that creates smoke screens.

Anyway, Keen had a percent of 135, and it was steadily rising. It was near K.O. time, and he knew it. He quickly pogoed up to the palm tree opposite of Sheik and fired off his blaster. Sheik immediately shielded. When the hail stopped, she unshielded, only to be met in a head butt from Keen. It was a good hit and it sent Sheik's percent soaring to 180. He then pogo-sticked onto Sheik, who was trying to get up. Keen fired his blaster down at her, raising her percent to 205. But his was now on 174, and it was soon going to be K.O. time for either of them. Sheik finally managed to get him off her only to be shot at once again. She teleported, but this time Keen anticipated the move and jumped straight up into her, knocking her out of the ring, making Keen ahead by one.

The item was a party ball. Not all too useful, but it might give you some good items every now and then. The party ball set down onto the palm tree, which was closest to Sheik.

"This one's mine again!" She shouted at Keen, jumping off toward it. The thing about Sheik is that she is amazingly fast and reasonably hard to hit. This made it hard for Keen to connect, and in no time Sheik had the party ball in her hands.

"Ha! Loser." She said as she threw the thing at him. Shiek obviously did not know how to use it, for it won't do any damage if thrown at someone. The party ball landed on him, but then rose up and flashed red.

Keen, being reasonably smart, jumped out of the way as four bob-ombs dropped down from the party ball.

"That sucks." Sheik said dully. She was charging up her needles when Keen pounded into her with his pogo stick. She was thrown off the palm tree and onto (Guess!) the bob-ombs, which had just started moving.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sheik, needless to say, was knocked out instantly.

Keen won, with two lives and a percent of 245.

"And the winner… Commander Keen!!!!! Don't for get to join us in five minutes for Tourney Talk. This is Troy Isaacs, and this is Guns and Swords!"

Ping!

Boom!

"That's it! We're through!" Ness shouted. "Let's go." he said, jumping through the hole in the pipe.

"Roawrow!"

They were walking down the pipe when suddenly….

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! We're walking through a sea of Piranha plants!" Mario shouted, jumping onto Ness's head, who was trying to hold together what dignity he had left.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" He shouted, knocking Mario off him. "They're only the size of my fist!"

"ROOAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR"

"That one isn't" Mario said jumping onto Yoshi and riding off the other way.

"Come on, we can take it. Who's with me?" Ness shouted. He looked around. There was no one left standing behind him.

"ROOOAAAAAR"

"Wait for meeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Darkwarrior17: I… have finally… finished. It has taken me a few weeks but I'm done. Please reward me with a few reviews, please?


	8. The Clones

Darkwarrior17: Well, all I have to say this time is this: lets hope this chapter doesn't take as long as the last.

Guns and Swords

VIII

The Clones

The next day was cloudy and extremely threatening. This is the perfect condition for T.V. watching, and that was just what the Crazy Hand wanted.

"Two more fights today." He said to Grothlik. "Two fights today and it will decide the semifinals."

"Yes sir." Grothlik said to his master.

Noticeably his mood had changed from a few days ago. Whether it was because of the reviews from the audience or he had made some sort of plan for the Balloon Bandits (see chapter five), it was known throughout the castle that he was up to something. Unfortunately for everyone around him, what he heard next shattered whatever security he had.

"Um, boss, uh, something happened to the prisoners."

"What!" The Crazy Hand shouted, wheeling towards Grothlik.

"Well, uh, I was going to the dungeons to feed them, but they're not there."

There was silence in the room. A vein throbbed on the Crazy Hand.

"Um, boss?"

Ping!

"And don't come out till you figure out how they escaped!" The Crazy Hand said, throwing Grothlik into the dungeon where the other Smashers were kept.

Ping!

"Ladies and gentlemen… We welcome you to the second day of… Guns and Swords! I'm Troy Isaacs and this is my assistant Chlöe."

"Hello everyone."

"Today's fighters will be Ganondorf and Young Link Vs. Clone Fox and Clone Falco. What's up with these clones, Chlöe?"

"Well, Troy, thanks to the miracle workers at Crazy Castle, we have managed to make clones of the Smashers, though we are only using these two. We chose them because they were the easiest to clone, due to their animal features and simple brain."

Ping!

Fox: "Hey!"

Ping!

"Anyway, we've engineered these ones to be slower, yet stronger than the original ones, so the fight will be different even if they were facing Marth and Roy."

"Actually there is a slight chance of that. If they both win their next fights, they'll be fighting each other." Troy informed. "Now what about the other fighters?"

"Well, they are from the same video games. Young Link has been in all the Legend of Zelda games, along with Ganon, or Ganondorf's other, dog-like appearance. Ganondorf is the villain of all of the Legend of Zelda games, except Majora's Mask. He has is a powerhouse that can K.O. most characters in a single move. Y. Link on the other hand, has weaker but much faster moves than his partner or his older form, regular Link."

"Oh, and it looks like it's about to begin."

The arena was Venom, pretty much Corneria, only you fight on the wings. Another small arena, but it's not the smallest.

"Get ready… Fight!" The Crazy Hand shouted, with a vein still throbbing.

Both Ganondorf and Y. Link were forced to jump out of the way as both the clones fired the blasters at them. Y. Link jumped onto the middle platform and fired his fire arrows while Ganondorf jumped down onto the second wing. C. Fox jumped down after him, only to be kicked back off the cliff. By the time C. Fox had made it back on Ganondorf had gone onto the higher wing, and he was holding an item box.

Wham!

Ganondorf threw the item box, spreading out a beam sword, a bunny hood, and a flipper. He quickly threw the flipper to the edge of the wing, where C. Fox was trying to get on.

Bonk!

Fox was sent downwards off the cliff for the second timein less then thirty seconds. Ganondorf then picked up the Bunny Hood, and then tossed it off the cliff.

"What a stupid weapon." He sneered, and picked up the beam sword.

Meanwhile, Y. Link and C. Falco were having a close range fight, with Y. Link slashing away with his sword while C. Falco was landing blow after blow after blow of his fist. C. Falco finally got really good hit that sent Y. Link sprawling. He was about to K.O. him when Ganondorf came up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Never, ever hit a man when he's down." Ganondorf whispered in his ear.

WHAAM!

C. Falco was sent flying to oblivion, and probably a little farther.

"Ha! What a loser. It only took one blow from me and-

Wham!

Fox had come up from behind and hit Ganondorf with a jumping kick.

"Tch… that wasn't power, that was _speed_ that made that hurt. Are you going to tell me where you got such speed?"

Wham!

"I guess not…"

Whoosh!

Ganondorf aimed a punch at Fox. It was blocked, and then…

Whamwhamwhamwhamwhamwhamwhamwhamwhamwhamwham! WHAM!

The last hit sent Ganondorf onto the other wing.

_Such…speed… how did he get that speed…_Ganondorf thought as C. Fox razed his blaster at him. _What… he wearing the bunny hood. Could that be it?_

"I wish I had an unlimited Bunny Hood for all the fights I'm in!"

Time suddenly stopped. Every thing stood still.

"Congrats, Ganondorf, you're the first to make any wish. And I must say, it's quite a good one." Rasaara's voice crackled in his ear. (see chapter five regarding the wishes)

"Rasaara… you're the one giving out the wishes?"

No you dimwit, I am. Now if you'll shut up for a second, I'll grant your wish for you 

"Our trainer… he's there too?"

WHAT DO YOU MEAN _HE_! DO I LOOK LIKE A HE TO YOU! JUST FOR THAT I SHOULDN'T GRANT YOUR DAMN WISH! 

"Yes, _she_ is in the room with me." Rasaara said, chuckling. "Just a sec… It's done. Behold, the unlimited Bunny Hood!"

It was golden. It was beautiful. It was…

"Sissy." Ganondorf said.

"Don't worry, no one can see it. Your speed will just be upgraded, a little more than the original, but not too much. Now put it on… and we'll begin!"

Time started.

C. Fox was coming in for the kill. He leaped…

Blzoow!

Ganondorf hit him with the beam sword he had been holding with him. Fox hit the bumper that was disappearing and went straight back towards Ganondorf.

BAAAAAAM!

C. Fox lives two, Ganondorf three.

C. Falco on the other side had managed to grab a star before Y. Link and was pounding him towards the edge. Y. Link quickly grabbed a bomb and threw it C. Falco. Momentarily distracted, Falco grabbed the bomb in midair.

"What a catch! Did you see that?"

Y. Link came forward in a sudden charge and slashed C. Falco down with his sword. The bomb was turning red now, and Y. Link jumped away as C. Falco was blown up into the air. C. Falco was not knocked out, but his percent was at 155. Y. Link was at the edge of the left wing when C. Falco hit the ground. Y. Link tried to grab another bomb, but this time C. Falco went forward in a Fire Bird, knocking Y. Link off the edge. Y. Link's "up B" move made it so he could grab onto the edge, but C. Falco jumped down and was standing on Y. Link's knuckles.

Ping!

"Not nice of masters to throw us in here likes this. I should chokes the life outs of him, yes we shoulds, heh heh… But first wes have to find the neck precious… Oh that stupid hand…" Grothlik had found the opening in the pipe and was following it to where he hoped the Smashers were. Unfortunately, he had gone in all the same directions that the Smashers had gone, and he was gaining fast.

Fortunately, they could hear him coming.

"Oh, yeeessss, we will kills him." Grothlik voice echoed through the pipe.

Ness:…

Mario:…

Yoshi:…

Pikachu:…

Jigglypuff:…

D.K.: Rowaaor!

"Stupid…bastard." Ness hissed at him.

"What was that, eh?" Grothlik said turning, looking into the darkness. "I…see you."

Ness jumped out suddenly and fired.

"PIKA FIRE!"

Ping!

"Hey, you going to let me up, or should I blow you to oblivion?" Y. Link said.

There was silence from the clone bird.

"O.K. then, loser." Y. Link said, pulling out his grappling hook.

Tweeeee! Ctchh!

"Moron." He said, throwing C. Falco down… down… down.

Wham!

Ganondorf was thrown back a few feet by C. Fox's "Fox Illusion" but quickly recovered and swiped down at C. Fox, who narrowly avoided it. Ganondorf then charged forward, bowling C. Fox onto the edge of the wing.

It was then that Ganondorf saw it. It was a small craft, and it was very fast coming right at him.

"Dodge it, you fool, dodge it!" Rasaara's voice crackled on the radio.

Ganondorf jumped back and shielded, and he watched C. Fox slowly advancing toward him, and then…

Twee! twee! twee! twee! twee!

Bang! bang! bang! bang! bang!

Fox was launched off the edge, hit the ship that had shot at him, and fell, to put the score at C. Fox at 1 life, C, Falco at 1 life, Ganondorf at 3 lives, and Y. Link at 3 lives. The clones had, obviously, failed.

Ping!

"Oooooooooh, you've done it now. Luckily my species is quite flame resistant." Grothlik smirked.

"PI…KA…CHUUUUUUUUU!!!"

BRZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!

"Apparently, it is not electricity resistant." Ness said to the now completely black Grothlik. "Alright, we're going to have to take him with us. Tie him up and put him on Yoshi."

"But I'ma riding Yoshi!"

"You ever heard of walking?"

"Eh, no."

"Good grief."

Ping!

The clones were not giving up easily now. They had gotten Ganondorf to a percent of 197 and Y. Link at 220. Ganondorf had lost his Beam Sword in an effort to get Falco off the cliff. And Y. Link was now getting shot at by both the clones.

"Look, a barrel's on the right wing!" Troy shouted.

"Finally!" Ganondorf said, grabbing the barrel and throwing it at both of his enemies. The barrel knocked both of the clones over Y. Link and out of the barrel came a Tomato and a Baseball Bat.

"You, grab the Baseball Bat now, while I grab the Tomato." Ganondorf said, starting to run for the items.

"Why do you get the Tomato? My percent's higher!"

"Just grab the dang thing!"

Bam!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"See? I've got the higher percent!" Ganondorf said, though the quick comeback of the clones had surprised him a lot. He quickly grabbed the Tomato and was about to grab the Bat when Y. Link grabbed it first.

"No way. These two are mine."

He ran up to C. Fox, hit over the head and began-

THE FOLLOWING SEQUENCE IS TO VOILENT FOR A PG STORY. WE WILL GIVE YOU THE SOUNDS ONLY FOR SOME TIME.

AUUUUUUUUUGHH! AHHHH! AHHHHH! AHAHA! ARGGGGG! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! OOH! OOH! OOOOOOOOH! OWOWOWOWOOWOOWOW! AIEEEEEEEEEEE

THANKYOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. WE WILL NOW CONTINUE AS ORIGINALLY PLANEND.

Both C. Falco and C. Fox were off the cliff. They were about to get back on when the Baseball Bat shot down at them!

buh BAM!

They were ancient history.

"AAAAAAAAND THE WINNER OF THE 3rd FIGHT IS GANONDORF AND YOUNG LINK!!!!!!!!!!!!" The Crazy Hand shouted.

"And we'll be back in five minutes with Tourney Talk, where we will analyze the crucial parts of the fight. After that Samus and Captain Falcon are fighting Link and Zelda. This is Troy Isaacs and Chlöe Larson, on The Tournament of The Century, Guns and Swords!!!!!!!"

Darkwarrior17:Haha! It took me only two days! Go me, go me! Haha! Well anyway, thank you everyone who reviewed.


	9. The End of the First Round

Darkwarrior17: I'mmmmm baaaaaaaaaaaack! I think this one will take a lot longer to get up than the other one. Oh well. Thank you to anybody who reviewed.

**Xaio39: **You're right. It is PK fire. Darn, that's really bothering me now. Oh well.

Guns and Swords

IX

The End of the First Round

The pipes below the Crazy Castle is a complete maze and it is full of Piranha Plants, fish the size of a small lake, and other things yet to be discovered. It is a cold, dark place, and if you can do anything to avoid it, do it, besides death, though a quick and painless death may make up for the immensely painful one you encounter in the deep pipes. Unfortunately, this is where the Smashers were at the present moment.

"I'ma hungry! Canta we spear one of those enormous fisha we saw back there?" Mario complained.

Ness was growing very tired of this. He wheeled around at Mario and shouted "Look, if you want to go back there and try to catch that monster fish, then fine. But let me say this. We would have been out of here by now if you had just gone with the piranha plants. But noooooooooo! We were to afraid to go that way. We had to run away like morons. So now I am going to make you lead the way. You should know a way out! You're a plumber, for crying out loud."

"We justa go thata way to the right." Mario stated.

Ness stopped. "Wait. What did you just say?"

"We go thata way to the riiiiiiiiight."

"So you've known the whole time? You realize how many times we've gone in circles?"

"I wasa hungry."

"RRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG"

"What?"

Meanwhile, under a thick layer of rope, Grothlik was sitting on Yoshi, trying to figure a way out. Since he was not smart and much less creative, he had know idea how to get away. He was, however, accidentally pressing the "Shock Link" button on his remote, and, even down in the pipes the shock signal made it up loud and clear.

Ping!

"AHHHHHHHH! What happened to your hair!" Zelda shouted at Link, who had a static yellow afro.

Ping!

"And that's what we have on Tourney Talk. Coming up next will be Samus and Captain Falcon Vs. Link and Zelda. They will be fighting on Big Blue, an arena from the F-Zero games. This map is very hectic, for you are fighting on top of the race vehicles. If you fall off onto the track… let's just hope you don't. This is the last fight of the first round. After that we will go to the semifinals. Now let's get on with the match!"

Ping!

"Dammit, Captain Falcon you better not lose." Samus warned, polishing her gun.

"Uh, gee, I really planned on it! Of course not! Why on earth would I lose?"

"Because you're an idiot."

Ping!

One minute and forty-five seconds later…

"Let the final match begin!" The Crazy Hand shouted.

Pop!

Samus quickly fired her blaster and jumped back as Link came charging at her. She then used her screw attack and sent Link flying up a few feet. She landed and used her chain to grab Link and then throw him onto the racers below.

"Oh! Link got a little unlucky there!"

"Falcon Punch!" Captain Falcon shouted as he went at Zelda. She suddenly disappeared as Captain Falcon's punch would have landed home.

"What?"

Bam!

A flame ball hit him in the back. There was Zelda standing right behind him.

"Ha! Loser." Zelda said, jumping out of the way of a kick.

Bam!

A fully charged blaster cannon shot hit her while she was in the air. If she was another type of character, she would have survived Samus' blast. But she was a lightweight, and she was instantly sent out of the arena, minus a life.

"If you are a loser you shouldn't call other people one!" Samus shouted to the now distant Zelda.

Bam! Bam!

Slash!

Link had thrown his boomerang and had hit Samus and Captain Falcon, and then came up to Samus with a downward slash.

Wham!

Samus quickly kicked out, catching Link in the stomach. She then hit him again with her blaster and quickly pulled him with her chain.

Bam!

Link's boomerang, in an effort to get back to Link, hit Samus in the back, knocking Link out of her hold and throwing them both onto the lower ships.

Meanwhile, Zelda was constantly teleporting away from Captain Falcon, which was getting very frustrating.

"Would you just hold still!" Captain Falcon shouted, throwing a punch where Zelda had just been standing.

Zelda then actually stopped only a few feet a way smiling at the captain.

"You moron! Falcon Kick!" Captain Falcon shouted, kicking towards Zelda.

Ding!

Captain Falcon's kick collided with the crystal that was now surrounding Zelda. The crystal shattered, hitting Captain Falcon, who was just a few feet away. The crystals did not hurt him too much, but he was hurt enough to be stunned a little bit.

"You just aren't too bright." Zelda said, shooting a fire ball at him.

Captain Falcon lives 2, Zelda 2 also.

Ping!

"Light! It's so beautiful!" Ness shouted climbing out of the pipe into a small mountainous area.

"I'm stilla hungry!" Mario complained.

"Here, eat this red tapioca thing." Ness said, throwing the flat round red thing at Mario.

"Hey, it'sa got a Luigi cap on." Mario said, not even realizing the meaning of what he had just said. "And its got pinkish earsa, and a doctor hat. Hmm."

"Rowroooooar" D.K. shouted, pointing at another of the flat things. This one was dressed in a blue parka, had horns, and a Pichu hat on.

"What are these things?" Ness wondered, picking up a black one with a crown and Jigglypuff hat on.

Suddenly, a stone sitting nearby transformed into a pink ball with painted red stripes and shouted in a cute high voice "Attack!"

Phwaaaaaaaaaaa!

Phwaaaaaaaaaaa!

Phwaaaaaaaaaaa!

Ping!

Little did the leftover Smashers know, but Grothlik had escaped as they left the pipe. How? His race's spit is a type of acid. It had just taken Grothlik a while to figure it out.

"Lousy Smashers, jumping me while I wasn't expecting it." Grothlik grumbled as he walked through the pipe. "Oh well. At least I can have his Craziness send down troops to find them now."

Ping!

Bam!

Link was sent sprawling onto the ship ahead and Captain Falcon jumped after him.

Bamslash!

Link kicked out and slashed at Captain Falcon with his sword, propelling him a few feet back. Captain Falcon managed to land on his feet, until Zelda knocked him over with a forward smash attack. Samus jumped down and hit Link with a halfway charged blaster. She then picked Link up with her chain, turned around, and let Link fall onto the track below. Samus lives three, Link two.

"Give me a second, could you!" Samus shouted to Captain Falcon, who was fighting Zelda at the time.

"No prob." Captain Falcon said ducking as a blow of Zelda's went past his head.

"Falcon Punch!" He shouted, knocking Zelda off the arena and onto the track. "Whoa. Was her percent really that high?" Captain Falcon said, raising an eyebrow.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Slash!Bonk!BOOM!

Link came down on Captain Falcon like a bomb, kicking, slashing, and clawing at Captain Falcon who was desperately trying to claw Link off of him. He finally managed to pull Link off and throw him onto the speeder, but received a few kicks in the process.

"That hurt you eejit!" Captain Falcon shouted at him as he held Link to the ship. Link smiled at him and showed him the glowing red bomb he had been holding.

"See ya."

BOOM!

Captain Falcon was sent flying out of the arena, with only one life left.

Meanwhile on the above ship, Samus was killing Zelda.

BonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBONG! Samus sent Zelda up into the air with her screw attack. Samus landed perfectly and aimed her blaster at the falling Zelda.

"You are one big sucker." She said, and…

Ping!

"Boss? Boss?" Grothlik said to the Crazy Hand, who was watching the fight.

"You are supposed to be looking for the smashers." The Crazy Hand said, still watching the fight. "And I don't want you back until you have found them."

"But sir, I have found them. They got the jump on me and are escaping out of the pipes. Could I please have a squad to go look for them?"

"Fine."

Ping!

"You are one big sucker" She said and…

Wham! Slash!

Link spun up off the bottom deck, throwing Samus a few feet up and then over. He quickly plucked a bomb and threw it at Samus, who had just gotten up. She was thrown up higher this time, but landed on her feet with her blaster aimed square at Link.

"Now you die!" She seethed, and then as she was pulling the trigger (or what ever she does to fire her gun) she was smashed from behind by Zelda. She fired up into the sky and exploded out of the ring.

Little did any one know it, but the shot that she fired kept going until it hit a petroleum tank on the planet Glarglesplart, whose species was at that moment about to launch an attack to take over the Earth. It was blown up by a series of nuclear explosions caused by the tank exploding. Little useless fact.

Back on Earth Captain Falcon was trying to get at Link and Zelda at the same time while Samus charged her blaster.

Bam!

Captain Falcon elbowed Link in the stomach and tried to kick Zelda at the same time. But due to teleportation this was hard to due.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zelda shouted hitting Captain Falcon with a forward smash. The smash sent him flying, but not too far this time.

"mushroom MUSHROOM **MUSHROOM!"** Link shouted.

"What about them?" Zelda asked.

"No, over there!" Link pointed.

Link dove… Zelda dove… Captain Falcon dove… and

STOMP!

Samus stepped on the mushroom with a fully charged blaster cannon.

"This is going to feel _real _good." Samus said as she grew bigger and bigger and bigger…

"Oh shit." Link said with sincere fear in his voice.

"Bye, bye." Samus said, firing.

Link waited for the end of his second life. It came, only Zelda's went first. In a desperate attempt to stop the blast from hitting Link, Zelda teleported right in front of the blast, blowing her away. Unfortunately, Samus kicked and knocked Link out, so her attempts were in vain.

"Oh, dear. That was big. Both of them in such quick hits… CAN WE GET AN INSTANT REPLAY OF THAT!"

Samus shrank down to size, and began to charge her weapon when…

BAM!

Link did a flying kick into Samus and knocked her onto the lower cars. He then did a helicopter kick into Captain Falcon, knocking him onto the lower cars as well. Link jumped down with his sword point down onto Captain Falcon, severely damaging him.

POW!

Samus hit him with a guided missile, throwing both him and Captain Falcon onto the edge of the back car. Captain Falcon slipped off but managed to grab onto Link's legs.

"Let… go of me!" Link shouted as he desperately tried to hold onto the ship.

Samus then calmly walked up to the edge of the deck of the ship, and pointed her charging blaster at Link.

"You… bitch… you better not!" Captain Falcon said, clinging onto Link's leg.

Samus ignored him. "Any last words?" She said to Link.

"The… Master Hand… was seriously… wrong…. Heh heh. I never will… like you. Heh heh heh…."

"GO TO HELL YOU BIIIIIIiiiiittch!" Captain Falcon shouted as they were blasted off the cars.

"And the winners are Samus and Captain Falcon! Next fight will be tomorrow at 3:30 pm Ganodorf and Y. Link Versus Commander Keen. Join us in fifteen minutes for Tourney Talk, where we will analyze all of the fights of the first round."

Ping!

"The future is no longer clear." The trainer said.

"Are you saying we might survive?"

Not likely, my friend, not likely at all 

Ping!

The squad marched down the pipes, as they made their way to what they thought was the capture of the smashers. What they would get was surely doom.

Darkwarrior17: Ahhhhh… now that I am finished I can tell you. Here's the thing: I can either continue this story for a little while longer, or I can start a new story and continue this one a little later. Review and tell me which to do. I already know what it is about, and it is another SSBM, so don't be worried. It is, however a humor story. So anyway, vote and I will do what you want.

PS: Kirby painted the red marks on. Just FYI.


	10. The SemiFinals

Darkwarrior17: Sorry that it's been a while. I just had other things going.

**Night Genie: ** The trainer person was supposed to have a name by now. Well, she's a really powerful psychic that's granting wishes during the tournament. She will have a bigger part to play later.

**Xiao-Darkcloud: **You changed your name _again!_

Guns and Swords

V

The Semi-Finals

The rain had kept up for the whole day, and it was not supposed to let up.

"Grothlik, has the patrol I sent out come back with the escapees?" The Crazy Hand asked as he sat down (Ok… how does he do that again?) and waited for the fight to be ready.

"Ummm…Yes! nonono they haven't." Grothlik said, cowering in a corner.

"It appears there is something else out there, eh Grothlik?" The Crazy Hand said calmly. "Put full security around those who are defeated. I think it will come in handy soon…"

Ping!

"Ahhh… Another day, another-."

Day of hacking The trainer finished, her eyes on the monitors.

"Don't get psychic with me, Krima, (I _did _have a name for her, look in chapter five) otherwise I'll put you in a lead room with garlic and soap."

"If you think that that was psychic, you are wrong."

Ping!

"Ladies and gentlemen, aliens and germs! Welcome to the semi-finals of the greatest fighting tournament of all time… Guns and Swords!" Troy shouted.

"God dammit, that guy is so _annoying._" Samus said, looking at the GoodYear Blimp hovering above them. "Hey, C.F., do you think that you could give me a few seconds at the start?"

"No problem. And don't call me that."

Samus and Captain Falcon VS Marth and Roy. They will be fighting at Brinstar, a Samus stage.

"Today's fighters are Samus and Captain Falcon VS Marth and Roy. They will be fighting at Brinstar, a Samus stage where the acid rises and you cannot be thrown off the cliffs, just K.O.ed."

"GO!"

Slash!

Marth sent Captain Falcon back a few feet, where Roy slashed him upwards.

"Get Samus!" Marth shouted at Roy.

Bam!

Captain Falcon kicked Marth back a few feet and went for Roy, only to be grabbed by Marth and flung back.

"Ahhhhhh!" Roy shouted, jumping and slashing at Samus. Samus quickly rolled out of the way and finished charging her gun.

Wham!

Marth kicked at Samus, knocking her off her balance for a few seconds. Marth quickly jumped over Samus, slashing her as he went. He grabbed Roy's hand and flung him towards Samus and Captain Falcon, who was running at them.

BAMBAM!

The move threw both Captain Falcon and Samus back. Roy landed on his hands and flipped up onto the higher platform.

Blam!

Pow!

Samus quickly fired her blaster at Roy, knocking him over the cliff. But the acid was beginning to rise and Roy did a quick flip back onto the platform, kicking Captain Falcon down as he went.

Ping!

"Do you think they'll win?" Young Link asked Ganondorf, who was eating his lunch while he watched.

"Your guess is as good as mine." He said as he bit into some chicken. "Not bad living around here, ya know?" Ganondorf said throwing the bone into a trash bin.

"I hear that that chicken is made out of animal droppings." Young Link said.

"Uh huh."

"And that you're a moron."

"Uh huh."

"And that Dairy Queen is giving out free ice cream."

"REALLY? WHERE!"

Ping!

Bam!

A homing missile hit Marth square in the chest, knocking him onto the lowest platform. The acid was rising again and Marth tried to jump back up, only to get in the way of a kick of Captain Falcon's. Marth hit the acid and was shot up, higher than any one else had.

Pow!

Samus shot Marth with a half charged blaster, making Marth the first to lose a life.

WHAM!

Roy hit both of them with a long sword swing, knocking both into the acid. They both hit shot up, and Marth, who had just landed, hit both downward with a quick swing. They hit the acid again, but this time Captain Falcon was out. Samus finally grabbed onto a cliff and she swung herself up, only to be hit off by Roy's blade.

"That's… growing…TIRESOME!" Samus shouted, corkscrewing up into Roy.

Ping!

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!

"Uh oh…" Rasaara said, turning to the monitor that was beeping.

"What?" Krima looked at the monitor.

"Oh shit."

"They're coming…"

"COMPUTER! CLOSE THE DOORS NOW!"

"I'm sorry. Voice links to **_RASAARA VEELANDIK_** have been cut off. Please go to the Registration Table to get your voice link hooked back up."

"KRIMA! SHUT THE DOORS!"

Fine. 

BOOM!

SHHHH! BOOM!

"open these doors now!" A voice on the others side of the doors shouted at them.

"Fat chance, morons!" Rasaara shouted.

"YOU BETTER OPEN UP RIGHT NOW! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR TREASON AGAINST HIS CRAZYNESS!"

"YEAH? WHAT WE DO?"

"DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME! YOU'VE HACKED THE MAIN COMPUTER AND DESTROYED A WHOLE PATROL!"

"I DID HACK THE MAIN COMPUTER BUT I DIDN'T TAKE DOWN THE PATROL! WHO'S CHARGING US, GROTHLIK?"

"THAT'S COMMANDER GROTHLIK TO YOU! I'LL GIVE YOU TILL THREE TO OPEN UP!"

"Bastards."

"ONE!"

"Hold on a sec…"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

BRZAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

"YEOW!"

"You know, it's not that hard to get yourselves into the main hardware. And I took the liberty of wiring electrical circuits into the door." Rasaara shouted back at them. "Dammit, I didn't think that it would take that short a time for them to figure it out. But I do wonder what got the patrol. Oh well, I might as well get me into the main frame for good."

You do that. 

Ping!

WHAM!

Captain Falcon kicked Roy off the cliff, only for him to make a quick recovery.

"Darn it, these guys are really hard to kill." Captain Falcon said as he backed into Samus.

"When I say, you go up and I go down."

"What?"

"Just do it!"

Roy charged at Samus, his sword ready.

"Now!"

Captain Falcon jumped up, only to see that Roy had gone with him, slashing him back down to Marth, who then slashed him forward.

"THERE'S AN ITEM BOX!" Marth shouted, pointing a little away from Roy.

Roy grabbed it and threw it down to Marth, who threw up a Super Scope as he grabbed a motion sensor bomb and a cloaking device.

"Give me a bit, okay?" Roy shouted in the general direction of Marth.

"Done."

Wham!

An invisible sword hit Captain Falcon as he came running up. Captain Falcon then started floating in midair, his hands on his neck.

BuhBuhBuhBuhBuhBuhBuhBuhBAM!

Samus came out of nowhere and corkscrewed into the invisible Marth, sending him up onto the top level. Captain Falcon jumped up, found Marth, and…

"Falcon PUNCH!" Marth was out a second time.

"AHHHH!" Roy came out of nowhere and threw Captain Falcon onto the lower level, right where the motion sensor bomb was laid.

KABOOM!

Captain Falcon died for the first time.

Wham! Samus jumped and kicked Roy onto the first level. It was about then that the acid rose.

PAUSE!

A.N: Okay, the next paragraph is better to picture in slow motion. Not kidding.

PLAY!

Roy was shot up. He swung the scope over at Samus. Samus pointed her blaster at Roy. Roy fired. Samus fired.

BOOOOM!

BOOOM!

Both were sent flying… flying… flying…gone.

PAUSE!

Slow-mo off.

PLAY!

Ping!

"Sir? Sir?"

"What is it Grothlik?" The Crazy Hand said irritably.

"It's the traitors. They are being more trouble than presumed."

"Fine! I don't care! I'll take care of them later."

Ping!

"Double Combo move?" Roy asked, jumping next to Marth.

"Perfect time too." Marth said, as he jumped up onto the platform above. Roy jumped after him, grabbing his arms and flinging him down at Captain Falcon.

WHAM!

Marth did a handstand as Roy landed on his feet. Marth then pushed him off towards Samus.

WHAM!

Roy pushed her off the cliff, but as he did so Samus shot her chain at him, and he was dragged along with her. Samus then swung Roy down below him, pushing him down as she released her chain. Roy went into the acid and was shot back up, only to be thrown down again by one of Samus' mines. But this time, there was no getting up.

"This is astounding! I would say that this is the best fight yet! Hey, an item is coming!" Troy shouted.

"A HAMMER!" Marth shouted.

The hammer fell right where the dead came back, so it looked like Roy was going to get it, until Samus shot him with a half charged blaster. She was going to get it herself when Marth grabbed her leg and flung her down. Marth went for it, but ran into Captain Falcon and they both fell. Samus got up and jumped for it, but by this time Roy had made it back on and stopped her. This only aggravated Samus and she shot Roy with a homing missile before he could get it. But Roy made a quick recovery and hit Samus with his massive sword, knocking her off. Just to annoy Roy, Samus shot her chain and pulled him down with him. This was, however, a mistake, because Captain Flacon had just gotten free of Marth and was jumping for the top and hit Roy instead. So now you've got like two people with massive swords, another person with a plasma blaster, and another with a flaming fist, all piled together, going after this one item. Hard to describe. Picture it yourselves.

3 minutes later…

Pow!

Samus finally managed to blast the two away and grab the hammer. She hit Marth with it, destroying him for the last time, and the head of the hammer fell off.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Samus shouted, running around hitting people with the stick.

Wham!

Roy threw the head of the hammer at her, knocking her off the cliff, and K.O.ing her.

"Nice going!" Captain Falcon said, kicking Roy up, and then punching him in the spine.

"BASTARD!" Roy shouted as did he a jump kick at Captain Falcon repeatedly.

"Um… how are you floating in midair like that?" Samus said, charging her blaster.

"What? I'm floating?" Roy said, looking down at the ground that was a foot away from him.

Bam!

"Oww…"

"Silly! If you miss the ground, you can't realize it!"

"Am I still in the right story?"

"No! you're in Bunnyland, where you eat chocolate all day and play with teddy bears! Isn't that fun!"

Back in reality…

"Um, is it okay to hit a crazy person?" Captain Falcon asked, looking down at Roy, who was presently licking the ground and trying to strangle a rock.

"Must… kill… bunny… eat… chocolate…"

"I… don't know…"

This obviously would take some time if the acid hadn't risen, killing Roy.

"Roy has one life left now. What are the chances of him winning now?"

"I'd say about 15 percent chance. Hey, did you know that there's an 85 percent chance of you owing me money?"

Roy was unfortunately not back to normal when he got back, so Captain Falcon held him up while Samus punched at him. It was looking like they would have to K.O. him when he swerved his head as Samus' fist came in.

WHAM!

Samus hit Captain Falcon in the face and Roy kicked out at Samus

"That hurt!" Samus shouted, firing her blaster.

It probably would have killed him, but he had just gotten back on and was not too damaged. Roy flipped Captain Falcon over him and swung his blade at Samus, knocking her down. He was about to K.O. her when…

"Falcon Punch!"

"And that is the end of the match! Samus and Captain Flacon win! Next will be Young Link and Ganondorf Versus Commander Keen and a helper. The helper is going to be none other than the- Beop.

The power went out.

Darkwarrior17: I swear, my whole family was trying to keep me from finishing. Except me beta. You know, I think I've read at least ten stories (Not necessarily fanfictions) with chapters that end "The power went out" or something like that. Also, just in case anybody is wondering why this took so long: it's because my first copy got deleted. In that one the power went out before the semi-finals. Well, I don't have much more to say except: I FINISHED MY TENTH CHAPTER! WHOOHOO! GO ME! GO ME!


	11. Power Outage

Darkwarrior17: Hi. I don't really have much to say, so yeah.

**NIYANNA: READ THIS! READ THIS! **In like, the second chapter, I explained that the Ping! was going to be a way of switching scenes. I think I stated that again in chapter four. And here I will say it again.

REMINDER: Changes between places will be marked with a "ping!"

**Night Genie**: People getting shocked is still going. I just haven't used it much.

Guns and Swords

XI

Power Outage

The power went out.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !" The Crazy Hand's scream could be heard for miles over the thunder and lightning. And he was about to scream again when his psychologist shot him with a dart gun. He tensed for a second and then fell limp.

The doctor quickly picked him up and strapped him to a stretcher. He wheeled him out, saying to Grothlik, "Use the generator to tell everyone that the tournament is canceled until further notice."

"What about him? He'll have a fit if he finds out."

"He won't be up for a day or so. I'll make sure of that."

Ping!

Inside the Guns cell, Commander Keen was playing Pong on his wrist pad when the victors were thrown in. The tubes were dark except for the glow of Keen's game.

"Okay… this is bad news." Samus said, looking over at the glowing face of Keen as he played his game.

"And why is that?"

"Well, um, you see, uhhhhh…"

"You're really convincing, you know?"

Ping!

"I think we might be able to get out of here." Fox said, after some people had finished chaining Marth and Roy to the cave.

"What? How!"

"It's simple enough. We just break the chains and make a jump for the ledge over there." Fox explained.

"Fox, you're forgetting the electrical shield." Falco pointed out.

"No, I'm not. I seriously doubt that they got a generator rigged so fast."

"But still that's one long jump."

"Except for the swordsman, we all have incredible recovery moves. And I'm sure we can figure a way for them to make it."

"It's still risky…"

"It's our only chance."

"I vote we take it!" Link shouted from where he was hanging

"Fine! But who's going first?"

"Uhhhhhhh…"

Ping!

Ganondorf and Young Link were in complete darkness, except for the seemingly far off glow of the other tube.

"Man, I wish we had technology." Ganondorf said, looking over to where he had last seen Young Link.

PHHTHHH

"YA! Get those fire arrows away from me!"

Young Link snickered. "Oops sorry. I didn't light anything, did I?"

"GIVE ME THOSE!"

Ping!

"NOW!" Fox shouted and shot Falco's chain with his blaster. Falco fell for a minute, and then…

"FIRE!"

He jumped onto the ledge and landed perfectly. Unfortunately the noise caught the attention of the guards and they came running.

Falco quickly shot the chain holding Fox, turned and shot one of the guards, which were the same type of people who had captured them in the first place. Fox soon joined him and together they momentarily drove the guards back.

"QUICK! Shoot me down!" Zelda shouted. Falco quickly shot her chain and she teleported over to them, where she changed into Shiek. Falco then shot Link, who tried to use his recovery move but missed and began tumbling down… down… until Shiek caught him with her whip and pulled him up most of the way. Sheik was shot with a dart, momentarily stunning her. Link quickly used his grappling hook and caught onto a ledge and pulled him self up when he noticed a small path way that was almost completely hidden from any other angle. He also noticed that some of the guards were trying to encircle those who where up there. He pulled himself up, and began to climb.

Ping!

"God, this is boring. Can I borrow that wrist thingy?" Samus asked.

"Once I'm done." Keen answered.

It was silent except for the "bleep" of Pong. Samus coughed politely and asked "Does that thing play music?"

"Yep."

"…"

Bleep

"Uhhhhh… Could you play some?"

"Sure." Keen said.

He pressed a button on the wrist pad and…"ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST" started to play at max volume, popping the ears of all around them until Keen turned it off.

Captain Falcon, who had been sleeping, was banging his head against the tube in an effort to escape from the sound.

"Oops, I guess the volume's broken." Keen snickered.

"WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE TOLD US!"

Ping!

"SHOOT MARTH AND ROY OFF THEIR CHAINS!" Fox shouted to Falco, who had managed to break away from the melee.

TSWEE!

TSWEE!

Fox quickly shot them both down and they tried to jump up but… Marth didn't make it. And this time there was no whip.

"MARTH!" Roy shouted as he saw Marth falling down towards the lava.

PHWAAA!

"What was that?" Fox asked.

Just then the group that had been coming down the path appeared behind them.

"Freeze!" one of them said, holding a pistol up.

"AHHHHHH!" Link jumped up and sliced the person in half. The head tumbled down, making a tin can noise.

"They're just machines!" Fox shouted.

"Yeah, we noticed!" Link shouted back "There's this tunnel over there that we can get out of. C'mon, follow me!"

Ping!

"Bad news. The master woke up early." The psychiatrist said to Grothlik.

"Oh shit."

"Bad news. He found out about the power still being out."

"Ooh shit."

"Bad news. He heard about the cancelling of the games."

"Oooh shit."

"Bad news. He's holding you responsible."

"OH SHIT!"

"GROTHLIIIIIIIK!"

"More bad news. He's-"

"Oh shut up, will you."

Ping!

The escapees had made their way out of the area and were making their way across a small pathway.

"I don't like this." Roy said, looking down into the lava far, far below.

"Yeah, the lava is kind of freaky."

"No, it's not that. It's that if any of you wobble, you're going to grab onto me, since I'm the strongest built and I'm in the middle."

Fox and Falco looked at each other.

"You know, he's amazingly perceptive for a guy who lives in the Stone Age."

"I DO NOT LIVE IN THE STONE AGE, YOU LITTLE WEASLES!"

"Guys, come on. I think those little guys are following us." Shiek said, looking back.

"Oh cripes, you're right. C'mon, faster, faster Falco."

"Shut up and don't rush me."

"They're getting closer…"

"I said shut up!"

"SHIT, THEY'RE COMING FASTER!"

"Move it, man!" Fox pushed Falco forward, who tripped and almost fell off.

"DON'T DO THAT!"

"THE EXIT'S RIGHT THERE! MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!" Unfortunately the path was beginning to crumble where they were standing and everyone made a mad dash for the doorway. Everyone but Falco.

"C'mon you loser! Don't tell me you're afraid of heights!"

Then the path fell.

Falco barely grabbed on to the ledge. Fox managed to grab his wrist before the part where he was holding crumbled.

The little men were coming in fast as Link and Zelda shot arrow and needle into them.

"Get him up!" Roy shouted, ducking a stun dart. "I feel really useless right now."

"YOU COULD HELP, YOU KNOW!" Fox shouted trying his best to hold on to Falco. Roy ran up and grabbed onto Fox, trying to heave him up.

"THE ROCKS ARE CRUMBLING!" Falco shouted, falling down farther.

There was a whooshing sound and a net spread over the gap, ensnaring Fox and Falco on the bottom side.

"They're crossing! Link, take care of them." Sheik shouted to Link as he jumped onto the net, hacking madly at the crossing robots. Sheik teleported slightly above Falco and grabbed his head, and teleported back up with him. Roy shot back along with Fox and they almost went off the cliff themselves.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT BEFORE!" Falco shouted at Sheik.

"Because you didn't ask me to." Shiek said, shooting off a few more needles.

At this point more and more little guys were swarming the net and Link was losing his position. He was beginning to retreat when Roy came forward, slashing and hacking with him.

"Get going. I'll hold them off." Roy said to Link, slashing at a robot that was coming too close.

"And let you take all the credit? No way!" Link said back, firing off another arrow.

"Fine, but let's get onto solid ground and blow up the net, shall we?"

They hacked their way onto the next ledge, the robots flying off as they went.

"What the hell are you two doing? We need to get out of here!" Falco shouted.

"They aren't coming…" Fox whispered.

"What?"

"They aren't coming. Now let's go, before all this goes to waste." They ran down the path, and they had gone no more than ten feet when a great explosion caused the area behind them to crumble away.

"C'mon" Falco shouted to Sheik as he looked back. Then she turned and ran.

Link grabbed the limp net and threw it onto the mass of the little people. He caught five or six of them, and then with the help of Roy threw them off the cliff.

"We would be good in a video game together." Roy said, slashing out quickly.

"Too bad there isn't much chance of that, eh?" Link grinned, hacking a few more off.

"At least we can give them a chance to escape."

"Let's see how many we can take in the process…"

They grabbed each other by the arms and threw themselves into the mob.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ping!

Fox and Falco quickly shut the door and bolted it, hoping that they could hold them off long enough to get somewhere useful.

"Okay. Let's take stock of our position." Fox said. "We lost Marth, Roy and Link. We are in some moron's castle, with robots the size of toddlers shooting stun darts at us. Anything else?"

"Yeah, one of the toddlers just shot me." Falco said. He then collapsed and behind him was three of the robots, reloading their guns.

"Oh shit…" Fox immediately shot out the first two, and Sheik took out the other one.

"Help me carry him. They know where we are now."

Ping!

"Um, Mr. Grothlik sir, we have more problems." A random minion tugged on his sleeve.

"Oh, God. You tell the master."

"Well, sir, I had better inform you first. The prisoners are missing from the, uh, lava flow."

"Oh, boo hoo. We don't have to tell him that. We've got these." Grothlik held up a remote with the names of the Smashers on it.

Ping!

"Okay, where do we need to get him?" Sheik asked.

"Some corner that nobody goes to. Now- OW!" Fox grabbed his neck as and electrical jolt went through his body.

"What is it- Ow!"

"Shit! I forgot about these things! Here, hold still…"

"What the hell are you going to-"

Tswee!

The collar snapped off and dropped to the floor. Sheik grabbed Falco's gun and shot both of the other collars off.

"Damn, these could be tracking devices. Quick throw them somewhere." Sheik quickly stuffed them in some random corner, and as he turned around they heard a whirring noise.

THUNK!

A dart impaled Sheik in the back, almost instantly putting him down. Fox had no choice but to run, and run he did.

Ping!

"Damn, they took their collars off. Flood the place with guards. And get more people on the power problem." Grothlik shouted orders to anyone around.

"Not bad being in command, eh, Grothlik?" A voice stated coldly.

"Master, I did not see you there!"

"SHUT UP, YOU FOOL! I am in charge again. Now, why do you want to flood the castle with people?" Grothlik made a squealing noise as the Crazy Hand grabbed him by the neck and lifted him into the air.

"The prisoners hanging by the chain! They escaped and I only just heard about it! It's not my fault!"

"Oh shut up, you sniveling little toad. I still have a use for you."

Ping!

Fox was still dragging Falco along when he started to come to.

"Oooh, my head!"

"Shhhh! They might hear us at any moment. Just be quiet."

BREEBREEBREEBREEBREEBREE!

"MY HEAD!"

"Shit!"

"Freeze, you scumbags!" One of the little men shouted, pointing his dart gun at them.

WOOSH!

The wall behind them opened and they were yanked in.

WOOSH!

The wall shut just as fast as it had opened.

"Hi there. I believe you have met me, although I will say my name again. My name is Rasaara Veelandik, ex-technical genius of this place. Welcome to my lab."

Would now be a good time to give them power? 

Yes. Now is the time. 

Darkwarrior17: I got ungrounded early! Yes! At least I was halfway through this chapter before I was grounded. Okay then, review and I will update as soon as possible.


	12. The Second Round Ends

Darkwarrior17: Wow. Apparently Chapter 11 was really good. I got a record of _four _reviews from _four _ different people, with _two_ of those people new! And I made it onto a _fourth _person's favorite author list! Let's see… my sister, Xiao-DarkCloud, Streak Has Returned and myself. How I made it onto my own list I don't know. Well, here we go again.

Guns and Swords

XII

The Second Round Ends

The day after the power outage was sunny. The tournament would continue in half an hour, and crowds were coming in fast. Most people were happy. Some weren't.

"Dang. I can't believe we ended up here again." Link, Roy, and Zelda were hanging from their old spot above the lava.

"I figured we'd get pushed off the cliff. But noooo, they shoot us full of darts and hang us back up here." Marth complained. "So, what happened to Fox and Falco?"

"I don't know. Their either dead or escaped. I lost track of them when I got shot."

"QUIET THERE! You heard the Crazy Hand! NO TALKING!"

"Well, I don't think we will be getting out again." Link said, looking at the battery powered guns pointed right at them.

Ping!

"Fox, I don't feel so well."

"What?"

"I said I don't feel well."

"What's wrong?" Rasaara said, wheeling over to where Falco was laying down.

"He's having an allergic reaction to the dart that hit him. I don't think we can help him here." Krima suddenly popped out of nowhere.

"Don't do that…" Fox said.

"What?"

"That thing… where you just pop out of nowhere."

"I didn't 'pop'."

"Anyway, what's this about an allergic reaction?" Rasaara asked.

"It's from the dart. The bird's blood can't take it, and he needs a transfusion." Krima answered.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Why didn't you get shot?"

"BECAUSE I'M TOO SMART TO GET SHOT!" Fox retorted.

"Oh, God, this is going to be a long week." Rasaara mumbled.

Ping!

"I believe before the power went out, I was saying who was going to be helping Commander Keen." Troy was back in the blimp, giving his announcement. "The helper is going to be a Vortican bear, which is a combination of long ranged blasters and brute strength. The arena will be fought at a randomly selected place. We will now select the area. Chlöe, what's the scoop on that?"

"Well the drawing is about to start, and after that the fight will commence." The camera switched to Chlöe, who was standing about five or six feet away, next to a raffle-type thing. The thing then began to spin.

Rattle rattle rattle… dink!

"And the area has been chosen… ONETT! Ness' home town."

"That's great, Chlöe. And the fight's about to begin!"

Ganondorf and Young Link were out on the arena that had just generated itself.

"Okay, you've got Keen and I'll take the Vorticon. Try to snipe them from the awnings up there." Ganondorf said, looking at the drug store.

"5…4…3…2…1…GO!

WHAM!

Ganondorf's kick came fast. The bear was totally taken off guard by the quickness and the powerfulness of the move. He slammed into the wall behind them and Ganondorf came in for another hit.

Brzzapp!

The laser blast missed Ganondorf's head by inches.

"HOLY SHIT!"

Wham!

A blow to the stomach was not something Ganondorf expected.

"ARG!" Young Link lashed out at Commander Keen, only to miss yet again. Commander Keen was dodging with in the instant that Young Link's sword would have hit, making Young Link very aggravated.

"WHY WON'T YOU STAY STILL!" He shouted, missing yet again. He finally threw his boomerang, catching Keen off guard, and knocking him back a few feet.

Bong!

Keen quickly used his boomerang and shot straight up, and then down on top of Young Link.

WHAM WHAM WHAM BRZAP!

Ganondorf was also doing badly against the Vortican, who was taking advantage of being slightly faster then Ganondorf. The Vortican swung again, only this time his arm was caught by Ganondorf. Ganondorf quickly swung him around and let go, sending him flying into the wall.

"Dang… I didn't think I'd have to take this dang thing out till later… Dang sissy thing." Ganondorf pulled out THE GOLDEN BUNNY HOOD!

(AN: Sorry, I just kind of got carried away.)

So, anyway. Ganondorf put on the bunny hood and got super speed and super jump.

Wham Wham Wham Wham Wham Wham Wham Wham!

Up on the awnings, Young Link was managing to keep Keen away from him by shooting fire arrows as Keen jumped up. This worked… until the awning collapsed.

"YAAA!" Young Link screamed as he fell.

Wham!

Keen pogoed up into Young Links back, shooting him back up, where he again fell into Commander Keen. But this time there was no coming down.

WHAM!

The Vortican nearly KOed Keen as it went flying through the air.

"Damn… I missed…" Said Ganondorf.

Unfortunately for Ganondorf, Keen had seen what he hadn't. An item barrel. Two quick shots were all it took to distract Ganondorf. Keen took off running for it.

BEEEEEEEEP!

WHAM!

A car sped out of control and hit Commander Keen. The force knocked far, far out of the arena. Ding…

By this time Ganondorf had seen the item barrel, only to be shot in the back by the Vorticon bear. Then Young Link grabbed it. With a quick throw the barrel went over Ganondorf's head and exploded on top the Vorticon, revealing a warp star, a metal box and a Mr. Saturn.

Everyone in the audience: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! IT'S SO CUTE!

"What the hell?" Ganondorf asked, looking around.

"No idea…"

(AN: Remember from chapter six, there's a little explanation. Rasaara put contact lenses with cameras and everything in the contestant's eyes, and at the very end of chapter six he explained that he could choose what they see. So everyone heard the people in the arena, they just couldn't see them, therefore confusing them. Wow, that was a long author's note. And it probably wasn't necessary.)

There was a small pause and, while everyone was busy in thought, Ganondorf quickly grabbed the Metal Box and threw the Mr. Saturn at Commander Keen. It did next to nothing.

"Man that sucks."

Well, Ganondorf was not about to waste his metaly-ness and started to pound the Vorticon into the dirt.

Well this was happening; Keen and Young Link had a quick scramble for the warp star. Young Link, being much more skilled at close range, got the warp star first. He warped to right where Keen was and, using that as a distraction, got up onto the top of the awning and began shooting again, this time being wary of the weakness of the material.

"Oh darn. The metal wore off…" Ganondorf said disappointedly.

At this point the Vorticon was about to get it, and after being beat into a bloody pulp by Metal Ganondorf, it wouldn't be too hard.

Keen, seeing this while he was dodging, rolling and cursing Link, rolled towards the Mr. Saturn and grabbed, throwing it at Young Link and took off running, while Ganondorf was continuing beating the Vorticon. It didn't matter if he had hit Link or not. The thing is, he did.

Riiiiiip!

Poof!

Riiiiiip!

WHAM!

Link landed directly on top of Keen, who was drawing his blaster and taking aim at Ganondorf. Unfortunately, Keen still shot, but (obviously) the shot was off, and instead of hitting Ganondorf, he hit The Vorticon.

_Finally_ noticing that Keen was standing back there, he quickly threw the Vorticon out of the area, hoping he went far enough. The thing is, it did.

"This is astounding! They are almost completely evenly matched! Chloe, what are the stats?"

"Well, since The Vorticon just died, he's obviously at zero. Young Link's fall added a bit, he's got a fifty-five percent chance of being KOed. Ganondorf has twenty, and he's still on his first life. And Keen… He's at fifty-six."

"HA!" Young Link laughed.

WHAM!

"Oops. Young Link's at fifty-seven."

Link slashed at Keen with his sword, only for it to be blocked by Keen's Pogo-stick. They began to fence with these two items, Keen with the obvious disadvantage: One: He's not a swordsman. Two: The Pogo-stick is less effective then my grandma (_Anyone's _grandma for that matter) wielding a sword. And three: IT'S A POGO-STICK! State the non-obvious one last.

Keen was just beginning to realize this (boy genius my _foot_) when Young Link slashed his leg, and the shot him with a flaming arrow.

Ping!

"Will my blood work?" Fox asked, sitting over the constantly sweating Falco.

"No, I'm afraid that none of our blood will work. You see, he's a bird, I'm a bat, you're a fox and he's a giant bug."

"Reptile bug."

"Yeah, whatever. The point is that none of our blood would match. We need another bird with the same blood type. Now, in the area, the only way we can get the blood… is…"

Ping!

"Hi-Ii!"

Ping!

"WHAT!"

"You heard me. If we can get Kirby to suck his blood a little-enter vampire Kirby, or something- then we can get some more blood. Simple, right?"

"Wrong. We have no idea where Kirby is, and the chances of us finding him without getting sucked up are slim to none."

"He's in the castle."

"What?"

"ARE YOU DEAF? HE'S IN THE CASTLE!"

"How? More importantly, where?"

"Somewhere in the lower levels. He has friends, as well."

Ping!

Back at the fight, Young Link and Keen where almost completely evenly matched. Ganondorf and the Vorticon were not.

WHAM!

CrrrrUnch!

The sound of the Vorticon's spine breaking was quite loud. And as he began to fall to the ground, Ganondorf picked him up and threw him at Commander Keen, killing both off.

"That was amazing! Ganondorf totally blew both of them away! If Keen and the Vorticon don't do something soon, the match will be over quite quickly."

The thing is, they did do something.

The Vorticon grabbed Keen and threw him straight up into the air. Keen the pulled out his pogo-stick and bounced onto the head of the Vorticon and bounced up high, and began firing at Ganondorf and Link. Most missed, but that wasn't the point.

WHAM!

The Vorticon hit both at once, coming in while they were distracted. Link was sent up, but Ganondorf was unlucky. Out.

Stweeee!

An arrow hissed by the Vorticon and hit Keen, who was just landing.

"Oof!"

Link threw his boomerang, catching both of them. They got up again, only to be hit again. Link dodged his boomerang and it chased him over, hitting the two again.

Ganondorf caught the boomerang in mid flight, and threw it at the Vorticon. It buried the point into the ground right next to its head.

"I'd prefer to make your death longer." He said, picking the boomerang up and throwing it to Link.

Bonk!

A turtle shell hit him in the back of the head, taking him by surprise.

"Dang. I missed that one's movement." He said, looking at Keen, who had grabbed the turtle shell when nobody was moving.

WHAM WHAM WHAM!

Keen was sent flying into the air and then kicked onto the awning where he stayed, trying to get a good shot at Ganondorf.

Link noticed him, and tried to shoot him with an arrow. It missed horribly, but it got Keen's attention. He then focused on Link, and they began firing at each other, Keen with the advantage.

Ping!

"Um, sir? Patrols one and eight are missing."

"Grothlik, how long have they been missing?"

"Um, sometime now, sir."

"I thought so. Do you want to know when I want to know bad news? WHEN IT HAPPENS, YOU IDIOT!"

"Sorry, sir."

"Where do they patrol?"

"The lower levels, sir."

"Hmmm. Someone is coming through the basements."

"What should we do?"

"At the precise moment? Nothing! Now shut up so I can watch Ganondorf beat the Vorticon into a bloody pulp."

Ping!

That was exactly what Ganondorf was doing. While Keen and Link were shooting at each other, Ganondorf and the Vorticon were having a fist fight. And Ganondorf was winning, easily.

Wham!

Another punch sent the Vorticon sprawling.

"Are you ready to die yet?"

The Vorticon smiled, if that was possible, and nodded.

"Okay then." Ganondorf picked up the Vorticon and began to spin him in the air, and then released. The Vorticon was out in a few seconds.

"Hey, Link, need some help!"

"Aww, shut up!" Young Link said, dodging another bullet and firing his arrow.

"Hey, I've got an idea!"

Ping!

"Okay, so what's our best plan of action?" Fox asked.

"Sit tight and wait a bit. Rasaara, you've hacked into the security files?"

"Well, duh. They just upgraded security in the last few days. I think he's expecting someone to come."

"Someone named Kirby. Now try to get the cameras tapped. And the phones and radios."

"Cameras okay, so are the phones. But I can't tap into radio waves. It's physically impossible!"

"Yeah, for your special computers. Give me a minute."

Ping!

Link and Ganondorf were hiding under the bottom awning. And Keen was getting impatient.

"Why won't they come out!" He said, looking down.

Just at that moment, Ganondorf went rushing out, grabbed the green turtle, and flung it at Keen.

Wham!

It struck directly in the head, knocking him off the awning. He was flying out when Link jumped up and slashed him straight down.

WHAM!

Ganondorf did a jumping kick, taking Keen on yet another voyage in outer space.

"I've got three letters for you Keen: K-O!" Ganondorf shouted at the disappearing Keen.

"That was truly amazing! Join us in five minutes for Tourney Talk, where we analyze both of the fights of the semi-finals!"

Ping!

"So, sir, what do we do?"

"Flood the tunnels with men. I want it so not a flea gets by them. You hear me? A flea!"

Darkwarrior17: HAPPY EASTER/ SPRING BREAK EVERYONE! Well, I hope I didn't disappoint any one who just recently started reading. If I did, I must say this. READ THE WHOLE THING INSTEAD OF THE NEWEST CHAPTER!


	13. The Final Round: Part I

Darkwarrior17: Well, hello again. Just for your information, this is a two part thing. The same fight, two chapters. So, those of you who are confused by the end of the chapter, I'll know that you didn't READ THIS!

Guns and Swords

XIII

The Final Round: Part 1

It was the last day of the tournament. It was raining. Thousands where pouring into the stadium, and machines were putting a roof up over the open air areas and putting up small pavilions where tourists could buy crappy merchandise and hot dogs for three times as much as they should be. Everything was going according to plan. Almost.

"Sir, squads four, eight, and ten are missing, and six and seven have been found destroyed." A random robot said to The Crazy Hand.

WHAM!

The robot was sent an impressive distance before plopping into the lake below.

"Any more bad news?" The Crazy Hand turned towards the rest of the robots. This had been going on for some time now, and the line of news was going from bad to worse. Grothlik was smart enough to start sending robots to give reports, and as his master's bad mood escalated, he avoided the Crazy Hand completely. Except for the occasion of his presence being seriously needed…

"GROTHLIK!"

Regretfully, Grothlik slunk out of his hiding spot (a three foot deep hole in the ground) and slowly walked over to where the Crazy Hand was sitting.

"Yes, sir?"

"Why haven't you caught up with the infiltrators of this castle? The machines rely too much on scanners. They can't catch up with whoever's in here. We need someone with eyes."

"Who, sir?"

"YOU, YOU IDIOT! Take a patrol and get down there in the basements. Also, when are you going to get those two traitors?"

"Now, sir?"

"Didn't I just tell you to get into the basement? NOW MOVE! I'll take care of them myself."

Ping!

"Okay, now when I get down into the basement, _how_ won't I be seen again?"

"Sigh. I've told you, you'll have an Ultimate Cloaking Device. Now we'll drop you right above the elevator shaft. Nothing's scheduled to go down till 11:00 a.m., giving you a half hour to find Kirby." This was the third time Rasaara had briefed Fox, and he was pretty sure it still wasn't getting through. "Now, when you get too far we won't be able to communicate so you'll be on your own. DON'T do anything stupid. DO come back with all my stuff. And whatever you do DON'T turn off your cloaking device.

"One more TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME." Fox yelled as he was dropped down the shaft.

"That wasn't very nice." Krima appeared behind him, holding a transmitter device that was picking up radio signals and broadcasting them back onto the computer.

"I was _not,_ repeat, _not _explaining that again."

"Fair enough."

Ping!

"Hello, and welcome to the final round of Guns and Swords. I'm your host, Troy Isaacs, and this is my co-host, Chlöe Larson. Today Ganondorf and Young Link will be fighting Samus and Captain Falcon on Hyrule Temple. There will be no items whatsoever dropping, to add a little twist."

"You go ahead and take Samus. I think I would do much better fighting Captain Falcon." Ganondorf said to Young Link.

"Don't underestimate either of them. Back in the cell, my older form was talking about how strong Samus was. I don't know about Captain Falcon, though."

"Great. I love surprises."

"You didn't love it when I beat you."

"… Shut up."

The Crazy Hand was starting off the fight before he did anything else. He looked down from his balcony and shouted: "GO!"

They were off. This time with no fast moves, just a quick scramble to get out of each other's range. In other words they ran like scared chickens so that they could watch their enemy.

"Okay… That was interesting… Does anyone know what they were doing?" Troy said watching as they peeked out of their hiding spots.

Luckily the Crazy Hand had already left; otherwise he would have been infuriated. No moves were made at all, and this would mean instant death to all four of them. But, he was not watching, and no death was made for any of them. Yet.

"Okay, Captain Falcon is fast. I won't win this unless I use it now." Ganondorf said to him self. He was lying down and in order to get at the Golden Bunny Hood, he would have to move or something. This would give Samus a good time to shoot, for she was on a ledge directly across from him. "Ah, crap…"

Ping!

Fox slammed onto the ground a good seventy yards below where he was before.

"Could have warned me…" he said, rubbing his head. He then got up and walked to the elevator.

"KSHHHHHWheKSHHHHyoKSHHposition?" Rasaara's com link crackled on with much interference.

"Repeat that, know it all?"

"KSHHHHcall me that."

"Yeah sure thing, know it all, what did you say?"

"KSHHH SAID KSHHH CALL ME THAT!"

"I did."

BRZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

A quick electric jolt went through Fox's body. Every single one of his hairs (mind you he has a lot) stood up on end at once.

"Now listen you dolt! If you don't shut up and get moving, then I'll personally go down there and kick your ass into the basement!" A new voice came onto the link, this one loud and clear. "The only reason that that was such a small shock is because I didn't want to hurt Rasaara's equipment! Now you better…"

"Okay, now that we have a good link, open the elevator with the long bar with a hook."

Fox took the crow bar from his assortment of equipment and began whacking the elevator door with it.

"Oh, my God…" Rasaara put his hands over his face and was pretty sure he was about to cry.

"Wow. I was sure he would figure out how to use a primitive tool such as that."

"Yeah, I think we both overestimated him."

Well, when Fox realized that his mindless strategy wasn't working, he pressed the button with the arrow pointing down.

Ding!

"Welcome, entity of no being. Please step inside." A computerized voice said, while pondering the existence of nothing and whether or not he should tell it to come in. Oops, too late.

"Oh, my God! He figured something out on his own!'

"Wait. Why didn't we do tell him to do that before?"

"Ummmm…"

"Oooh… MORE BUTTONS!"

"So is his stupidity smarter than our intelligence?"

"…What?"

Ping!

Link, who had hid down in the little tunnel, was getting tired of waiting and decided to jump out of nowhere and shoot at Samus. Samus noticed and quickly fired down at him. Ganondorf jumped up and put the Golden Bunny Hood on and went racing towards Samus when Captain Falcon jumped out of nowhere and punched him in the nose.

"Ow…" Ganondorf said, and then punched Captain Falcon in the nose harder. This knocked him off the gazebo and sent him sprawling. He looked up and Ganondorf was about to kick him in the chest. He quickly rolled over and Ganondorf landed with a loud "thud" inches away from him. He kicked out tripping Ganondorf and quickly jumped up only to be kicked by Ganondorf.

Meanwhile, Young Link had gotten up really close to Samus and now was slashing away at her. He raised his sword again when Samus caught him with her chain. She quickly threw him across the stadium, and began to charge her blaster again. Link landed close to where Ganondorf was fighting Captain Falcon. Ganondorf managed to kick Captain Falcon away long enough to throw Link back at Samus. Samus had just finished charging her gun when she noticed that Link was coming back at her really, _really_ fast. She was about to shoot when he hit.

WHUMP!

BAM!

They were sailing through the air when Samus managed to fire. This propelled her faster off the edge and Young Link really far the other way. Perhaps if Samus hadn't fired she would have made it back on. Perhaps not.

Young Link on the other hand, got lucky, for it was a long way to get launched by any means. He landed with an "oof" on the far ledge, a couple of feet away from the drop.

"Whoa… Shit!"

Ping!

Fox was now down in the basement, and since there was a lava flow under him it was really hot.

"Guys? My feet are burning."

"That's normal. Now get moving." Krima growled at him.

"Uh-oh…"

"What?"

"Grothlik is headed down."

"So what? That pushover couldn't catch a fly that was glued to his nose."

"The thing is, the clones can."

"Wha…?"

Rasaara pointed to a monitor that showed Grothlik briefing a bunch of Fox and Falco clones.

"Shoot…" Krima said.

"I think we should go down and help him."

"Yeah… Me too."

"OPEN UP NOW! I'M WARNING YOU!" The Crazy Hand was pounding on the door with all his might, and was trying to figure out how to tear it down.

"Then again, I wouldn't dare."

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON UP THERE! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT? RESPOND!"

"Fox, you're going to have some company. Not some sissy robot patrol. Were talking about your clones."

There was a brief bit of cursing before Fox said, "Is there any way I could get back up?"

"Not a chance. They're headed for the elevator right now and even if we did get you up, we would have to get you past the Crazy Hand."

"How hard could that be?"

"Don't underestimate the Crazy Hand. He may be insane, but his senses are amazingly sharp and he certainly isn't stupid."

"Well then, what should I do?"

"Proceed with the mission and try to find Kirby and his friends. They can probably take them out."

"How many are there?"

"A score."

"…what?"

"Twenty! Just get moving, we don't have the time! GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!"

Ping!

Link was running to attack Captain Falcon when Samus dropped out of nowhere right in front of him. Being surprised, he had little time to attack, and even though he did attack, it was a wild shot and Samus easily avoided it. Samus then ran up and corkscrewed into Young Link, sending him near the cliff edge. She grabbed him with her chain and threw him off the edge. Link managed to make it back on, only to be thrown off again.

"Oh, darn. It looked like he was going to make it back on. Let's see how Ganondorf and Captain Falcon are doing."

There fist fight had stopped for the moment; both were panting hard.

"Well… you're faster then you look…" Captain Falcon said, still panting.

"Yes… It seems we're equally matched for speed… Too bad we aren't for strength."

"What?"

"I haven't been using full strength. Obviously."

"Ha! He's bluffing," Captain Falcon thought to himself. "Okay…" He said aloud. "Then use your full strength, if you aren't already at it."

WHAM!

The blow came suddenly. Captain Falcon was knocked back, off the small edge, and onto the area of where the tunnel was. Ganondorf quickly followed with a jump kick and sent him farther. He was running for him when Captain Falcon kicked out, tripping him. Captain Falcon quickly jumped up, and as Ganondorf tried to get up he pushed him down the slope. Ganondorf skidded down the hill, falling off the edge but catching onto the edge. When he realized that there was land under him, he was going to let go, when he thought of a better idea.

Captain Falcon ran down the hill and looked down the ledge. He didn't see Ganondorf still gripping on.

"Where is he?" He said to himself.

He jumped down, still not seeing Ganondorf. Ganondorf swung his legs out, grabbing Captain Falcon by the neck with his legs. He swung him back and forth, like a pendulum, getting faster and faster. He then flung Captain Falcon off the edge, pretty fast. But, lucky for Captain Falcon, there was a small ledge under there a couple yards out. And that is where Captain Falcon landed.

Ping!

Ding!

"Have a nice day!" The elevator said cheerily. Out of it stepped Grothlik and his patrol of clones. Grothlik took out a scanner and looked around. The device showed footprints of multiple life forms. One track glowed redder than others.

"Something's been down here recently."

"Kirby, sir?"

"Possibly. We'll have to check it out."

Grothlik obviously had no idea what he was doing, for if he had look closely he would have noticed that the footprints looked remarkably like those of the clones who were following him. But, he did not look closely, and he did not notice at all.

Elsewhere in the basement, Fox was also searching.

"Guys, do you have a reading? Any life forms?"

"None whatsoever." Rasaara replied.

"I'M TELLING YOU, IT WILL BE MUCH BETTER FOR YOU TO COME OUT NOW, WHILE I'M IN A GOOD MOOD!"

"What the heck was that?"

"Who do you think?"

"Oh God, make him go away!"

BAM! BAM! BAM!

"SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO WORK!" Krima yelled over her shoulder.

Surprisingly, it worked for a few seconds. Then the banging started again.

"I SAID SHUT UP!"

"MAKE ME!"

"MAYBE I WILL!" Krima was about to open the door when Rasaara stopped her.

"What about the little birdy?"

"I'm, cough, cough, not little." Falco's voice was sore and scratched, but he walked out just fine, looking much better then he had.

"Wait a minute! You shouldn't be able to do anything!"

"Why?"

"You were having an allergic reaction to the dart!"

"No, that was a fever of 106. I think that medicine worked pretty well. Where's Fox?"

"…"

"…"

"What? Where is he?"

Ping!

Captain Falcon was still on the little platform, and Ganondorf was waiting for him to try to jump up.

"You can't win, you know." Ganondorf shouted over to him.

"I can try!" Captain Falcon shouted back.

"Go ahead then!" Ganondorf said, sneering.

Suddenly Captain Falcon smiled. "I think I will. But before I do, look behind you."

Ganondorf whirled around. There was Samus, with a fully charged blaster liable to go off sooner or later. Most likely sooner.

"YAAAAAAAH!" Link did a flying kick into Samus just as she fired, pointing her shot up a little. Ganondorf ducked, and Captain Falcon jumped over, almost. Actually he came a few feet short.

"AHHH, shoot…" He said as fell.

Young Link was on top of Samus, trying to beat her senseless. She finally managed to grab and throw him off the cliff. Link made it back on, but not before Ganondorf had socked Samus in the stomach.

"Don't sneak up on me." He said to the coughing Samus, who was lying on the ground.

Wham!

Captain Falcon punched Ganondorf in the head, throwing him a little bit. Link fired an arrow quickly, catching Captain Falcon of guard and making him take a pace back. He was about to fire another arrow when Samus kicked him down and grabbed him.

Wham! Wham!

Ganondorf kicked both Samus and Captain Falcon in the heads. Unfortunately he was a little too late and Samus had thrown Link off the cliff. A little too far.

Ping!

"WHADDYA MEAN HE'S ALL RIGHT?" Fox shouted into the mike.

"EXACTLY WHAT I SAID! WHAT DID YOU THINK I MEANT?" Rasaara shouted back. "Look, he just got up and said he was feeling better and now he's complaining that he's hungry."

"Damn, he really is better. Shit, Grothlik's coming. I'll respond later."

"Hmmmm…" Grothlik was looking through his device, next to a small stream of lava. "What ever it is, it's going upstream." Actually, Fox was going downstream. Grothlik just couldn't tell.

The group began to head downstream, when a small rockslide blocked the path.

"You two." Grothlik pointed to two of the clones. "Go check that out."

The clones ran up the slope, disappearing behind two rocks. There was a sudden yell, and a few laser blasts, and then one of the Fox clones came down.

"Just a piranha plant, sir. It got the other one." He reported.

"Let's move on." Grothlik ordered and began to climb over the various rocks. Little did he know that on the top of the hill were a dead piranha plant, and _two _fox clones lying dead next to each other.

Ping!

FFFT!

Ganondorf, after being beaten for several minutes by both Captain Falcon and Samus, was relieved to see Young Link shooting arrows at Samus. He quickly punched Captain off the ledge, and was then K.O.ed by one of Samus' shots gone awry.

Captain Falcon once again _almost_ made it back on again. His hands grasped onto dirt but slipped.

"Dang it!"

Young Link had jumped up onto the gazebo and was shooting at Samus, who was rolling and ducking to avoid the arrows. She finally made it directly below him and corkscrewed into him. She then shot a smart missile, knocking him onto the ledge a few feet away. Link fired an arrow, probably saving his life, and ran for cover.

Ganondorf was beating the hell out of Captain Falcon. Knowing that he was probably going to die soon, Captain Falcon decided to go for the one target he could stand up against. Link.

Captain Falcon jumped over Ganondorf, kicking him in the face on the way, and ran for Young Link, who was facing Samus as he concentrated as much fire as he could.

Ganondorf, realizing what was happening, ran after Captain Falcon, knowing that he probably wouldn't make it in time.

"LINK! LOOK BEHIND YOU!"

Link turned. He saw Captain Falcon three feet away, fist raised. He brought his sword up. And was K.O.ed by Samus from behind.

"Ha! What a loser." Captain Falcon sneered.

BAM!

Craaack!

"Crack?" Troy asked aloud.

"Yog brog mide jawd! OWWW!" Captain Falcon shouted at Ganondorf.

BAM!

Ganondorf K.O.ed him with a punch to the stomach. He turned to Samus.

"Are you ready for this, Aran? Are you ready?"

Samus raised her gun. "I'm ready!"

Darkwarrior17: Well, I made my goal. Even if I had to extend it. I finished before my thirteenth birthday! One day early. Odreagh, thank you for the review. That's what got me moving, even if it wasn't a necessarily good review; it was definitely a different one. Thanks for the pointers; I'll have my sister work on that. PLEASE, GENNY, DON'T KILL ME! Although she says she won't work on past tense, present tense, and so on. Well that's that.


	14. The Final Round: Part II

Due to the fact that the few fans that he has are going to kill him for taking so long to update, Darkwarrior17 has left one of his characters to do anything at the beginning or end of this chapter.

Rasaara: Hi everybody! To start we'll have a short list of excuses from Darkwarrior17 about why he didn't update for so long.

Lack of reviews.

Vacation, Fourth of July, and end of the school year stuff.

Thinking and working on other story. (Nintendo Wars: Part 1)

Writers block.

Other random, miscellaneous things.

Rasaara: OK! Next are reviews, including the only one from Nintendo Wars.

Roy-Marth: Wow. That was the longest review Darkwarrior17 has ever gotten. THANKS!

Samusgirl1500: _I'm _not your favorite character? DANG YOU KRIMA!

XiaoDarkcloud: No, the dash doesn't count and it isn't a typo. That was Ganondorf being stupid.

XiaoDarkcloud: If you hate to root for Ganondorf, then why not root for Samus? Do you dislike Samus more than Ganondorf? Or was it because Young Link was on his team?

XiaoDarkcloud (From Nintendo Wars): He knows who Marth and Roy are and there backgrounds and everything, he just made different characters for them. I mean c'mon! None of the characters have the same role except Ganondorf.

Rasaara: And that is that! See you at the end of the chapter and possibly throughout it.

Guns and Swords

XIV

The Final Round: Part II

Grothlik had led his team of clones to the lowest levels of The Crazy Castle. You could hardly call it part of the castle, for this was the first time it had been explored for a reasonable length of time. They had pretty much been walking in circles for a while, Grothlik still using the help of his device.

Fox was becoming increasingly tired as they marched through the overheated basement. His clones seemed to be completely fine, never looking in the least bit tired. Fox was about to faint from exhaustion when Grothlik stopped and started cursing.

"DAMN LITLLE DEVICES! WHY MUST I BE CURSED TO BREAK EVERY ELECTRONIC DEVICE I TOUCH!" Grothlik shouted while beating the machine.

"Sir? Do you think there is some other sort of factor for the short circuiting? Such as the heat from the area?" One of the clones next to Fox said.

"Or the batteries could be dead!" Fox said, while thinking _DUH._

Grothlik was about to reply when the rock he was sitting on got up and threw him into the lava flow.

The clones quickly raised their blasters and fired at the rock, which from now on we will call Red Kirby, but it flipped out of the way and hid behind another rock in the area.

Behind the rock, Red Kirby took out his cell phone and called up the other Kirbys.

"HELP!" He shouted into the phone, and then flipped it off. Don't want to waste minutes, especially while roaming.

The clones were continuing to blast the rock of which Red Kirby was hiding behind, and Fox was beginning to wonder how much longer it would take for the rock to crumble. He never got to find out, though, because another Kirby (We'll call this one Green Kirby) ran up and grabbed him, pulled him way up into the air, and brought him slamming down on top of the clones' heads. As tempted as he was to shoot Green Kirby, he started pummeling the nearest clone.

Ping!

"Hey Rasaara, shouldn't we be figuring out a way to get to Fox?" Falco asked.

Rasaara didn't reply, and instead turned to one of his many monitors.

"Hello?"

Rasaara typed something.

"Rasaara?"

Tyepity Tyepity Tyepity Tyepity.

"HELLO!"

Tyepity Tyepity Tyepity Tyepity.

"RASAARA, STOP IGNORING ME!"

"Shut up! You're giving me a headache!" Krima yelled.

"He won't answer me!" Falco whined.

Krima walked up to Rasaara, and pulled the head phones out of his ears.

"Hey, what the-"

Snap!

"OWWWW!"

"There. I think you have his attention." Krima walked off, her wings twitching.

"…Okay."

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR ANYWAY!"

"I asked a question. What were you listening to?"

"Queen's Greatest Hits, disc two. Now what was the question?"

"Uhhhhhh…"

"Don't tell me."

"Wait, wait, it had something to do with Fox."

"You want watch the Simpsons, on Fox?"

"No, the person Fox!"

"Oh… You want to watch Fox with Fox."

"NO! I want to do something with Fox that has nothing to do with the channel Fox!"

"So you want to watch Futurama on Cartoon Network?"

"NO! I WANT TO GO DOWN AND HELP FOX!"

"Okay. Then for starters you'll need to-"

"Wait a minute… you did that on purpose, didn't you? With all the stupid things, so I'd remember?"

"Umm, let me think a sec. Yeah." Rasaara smirked. Krima sat in the corner laughing.

"You better be reading the funny pages!" Falco shouted at Krima.

"Anyway, you want to save Fox, right?"

"Yeah, I think we've established that."

"Well, I don't think that's possible."

"Why not?"

"Well, we have secret exits from this room leading to every area in the castle. Except the basement."

"Well why can't we just let me out near an elevator and I could head down from there?"

"For starters, there's only one elevator that leads to the basement. And all the entrances near that one have been destroyed."

"THEN LET ME OUT AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN!" Being stupid, Falco forgot that the Crazy Hand could probably hear every word he just said.

From the message on the radio, it sounded as though he had. "All units, guard elevator 2B. Post as many watches as possible with in a radius of 30 feet, and keep watches along the way. If you see anything suspicious, report to your commanding officer at once."

"Ooooh… Crap."

"I could have sworn I told you NOT TO YELL!"

Ping!

"Well, here we are, with the two finalists about to kill each other. Young Link and Captain Falcon were eliminated a few seconds ago, and now we have Ganondorf and Samus left, each with two lives. And now a word from our sponsor." Troy Isaacs said.

"Wait sir, they're fighting again!"

"Oh, yes, so they are!"

So they were. Samus had shot a homing missile at Ganondorf, but he shielded and then ran for cover. Samus shot another, and then charged her blaster. Ganondorf came in with Wizards' Foot and knocked Samus into the air. He then tried to punch her as she came down, but Samus started dropping bombs, distracting him momentarily as she landed, and then spun into Ganondorf. This tactic caught Ganondorf off guard, and, out of desperation, was forced to run away. This gave time for Samus to begin charging, but this time on a floating platform. Ganondorf then tried to get under the platform and jump up into Samus, but she rolled off the platform and continued charging. Ganondorf jumped down, trying to get on top of Samus, but as he was jumping she finished charging her blaster.

BOOM

"Oh, my! A fully charged cannon blast at minimal range! That's got to hurt."

"Um, sir?" Chlöe pointed to one of the cameras. "Ganondorf is coming this way fast."

"What? Oh. I doubt he'll get this far."

Ganondorf's thoughts: "Closer…"

"He's getting pretty close, sir."

"He can't make it."

"Closer…"

"Sir, he's still coming!"

"I'm sure he'll miss."

"Closer…"

"Sir, we're in a Blimp!"

"Closer…"

"Oh, come on, we're thousands of feet up!"

"Closer…"

"SO WHAT? HE'S STILL COMING FAST!" Chlöe was now hysterical.

"Almost…"

"Oh come on, what are the chances that he'd-"

"There."

The noise of the gas escaping from the blimp was not quite enough to drown out Chlöe.

"I TOLD YOU! SEE? SEE? THIS IS WHY I SHOULD BE THE BOSS AROUND HERE! I'M NOT AN IDIOT!"

"OH C'MON, AT LEAST I HAVE EXPEIRENCE! YOU CAN BARELY DO ANYTHING!"

"ONLY BECAUSE YOU NEVER LET ME, YOU POMPUS BAFOON!"

"OOOH! CLEVER WIT! I'M SURPRISED THAT'S NOT IN YOUR JOB REVIEW, EVERYTHING ELSE IS, YOU BRATTY, BRIBING, LITTLE-"

"YOU MAY CALL ME A BRAT, BUT I WOULD NEVER BRIBE MY WAY INTO A JOB!"

"OH! HOW ABOUT BLACKMAIL, HUH? I KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO GET IN HERE, YOU-"

BEooooooooo…

"I'm sorry, but we are experiencing some technical difficulties." Rasaara's voice crackled on the P.A. "Please be patient as we play some music. Have a nice day." Beatles 1 then came on, and the blimp continued to fall towards the stands.

Meanwhile, Samus was aiming her blaster at the hole where Ganondorf punched through.

"Wait for it…"

Ganondorf poked his head out of the blimp, and saw Samus fire her blaster.

"Perfect…" He jumped out of the blimp. The blast missed, and headed straight into the flammable gasses pouring out of the blimp. It was quite an explosion. Luckily, the crew ejected out of the blimp before the explosion. Ganondorf was sent rocketing straight towards Samus. Samus was charging her blaster. People began fleeing from the stands as the flaming wreckage hurtled towards them.

Ganondorf was getting closer to Samus, and Samus was almost done charging.

Five…

"Almost there…"

Four…

"Almost done…"

Three…

"C'mon…"

Two…

"One more second…"

One…

Ganondorf made contacted with Samus at 114 mph. This probably would have only killed Samus, if she hadn't fired her blaster .286 seconds after contact. Both were sent rocketing away, now with one life each.

Ping!

The Beatles was blasting in Rasaara's room also, and it was driving Falco crazy.

"CAN'T YOU TURN THAT DOWN?" He shouted. "I HATE THE BEATLES!"

"HOW ABOUT ANOTHER CD?" Rasaara shouted back.

"WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?"

"QUEEN'S GREATEST HITS DISK ONE, TWO, AND THREE, BARENAKED LADIES GREATEST HITS, AND JURASSIC PARK SOUNDTRACK. OH AND A STAR WARS SOUND TRACK, TOO."

"OH MY GOD THIS SUCKS! PUT IN ONE OF THE QUEEN CDs!" Falco resumed plugging his ears until Rasaara took the Beatles out.

"Put it on track twelve." Krima said from her corner. Rasaara looked at the small booklet.

"Oh yes…" Rasaara got a devilish grin.

"What's track twelve?" Falco asked. Rasaara proceeded to put the CD in. "What's track twelve?" Rasaara pressed play. "WHAT IS IT?" The CD player whirred for a second… and then I'm Going Slightly Mad began to blast on every single speaker in the area.

"Oh…" Falco said, and the banging on the door suddenly got louder and more violent.

"I WILL KILL ANY ONE WHO IS IN THIS ROOM! YOU-"

"Ooh, it appears we blew a fuse." Rasaara said, smirking.

"Yeah, that's not too hard, considering how many times we've tried." Krima said, going back to her newspaper.

"**I'm one card short of a full deck,"**

"I WILL KILL YOU-"

**"I'm not quite the shilling."**

"UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD-"

**"One wave short of a shipwreck,"**

"AND THEN I'LL SLICE UP YOUR BODIES-"

**"I'm not my usual billing."**

"AND THEN JUMP ON THE PIECES-"

**"I'm coming down with a fever,"**

"UNTIL THEY ARE SMALLER PIECES-"

**"I'm really out to sea."**

"AND THEN I'LL THROW YOU OFF A CLIFF! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

**"This kettle is boiling over,"**

"How can you jump on stuff? You're a floating hand!"

**"I'm think I'm a banana tree!"**

"How can you antagonize him like that?" Falco asked, looking slightly appalled.

**"Oh yeah."**

Ping!

Back underground, Fox and the two Kirbys were out numbered twenty to three. The other Kirbys were coming as fast as they could, which wasn't very fast, considering size of leg and width of middle.

"TAKE THAT!" Fox yelled, doing a jump kick into one of the clones. "AND THIS!" He yelled punching another in the jaw.

Red Kirby fired green fireballs from behind the rock, which had crumbled from the blaster shots. This caused much confusion among the clones, but not as much as when another Kirby (we'll call this one Yellow) came shooting down from the top of the cave in its rock form. The blast knocked two of the clones into the lava, and as they did Grothlik crawled out of it, shouting.

"THOUGHT YOU COULD KILL ME OFF THAT EASY, HUH! WELL, _I'M_ FIREPROOF!" A well-aimed blaster shot from Fox knocked him back into the lava. He crawled out again and shouted into his radio, "Send back up!"

Ping!

People were streaming out of the stadium as the burning mass that used to be a GoodYear blimp crashed into the stands. Anyone who was stupid enough to stay there was cooked alive and served as the chicken nuggets at Blue Lake Fine Arts Camp. But that's beside the point.

Ganondorf was sent flying back as a smart missile exploded feet away from him. He jumped out of the way as another one of the missiles zoomed at him. Samus was about ten yards away and firing missile after missile, knowing that Ganondorf couldn't dodge forever. Suddenly Ganondorf shot forward with the speed of a large bunny. A missile struck him in the face and sent him flying in the other direction, like a large bunny being struck by a missile.

"HA! How do you like that one?" Samus shouted, firing another missile. This one, however, Ganondorf caught. "Oooh…" Samus said, as Ganondorf threw the missile back.

Ping!

**"I'm knitting with only one needle,"**

BOOM!

**"Unraveling fast it's true."**

"Um, guys? I think he's getting through." Falco said, pointing to the steel door that was groaning and bending inward.

**"I'm driving only three wheels these days,"**

"You know, I think you're right." Rasaara said, looking at the door.

**"But my dear how about you?"**

"Give me half a minute." Krima said, going to her corner.

"**I'm going slightly mad!"**

"What's she doing?" Falco asked, drawing his blaster.

"**I'm going slightly mad!"**

"Getting psyched." Rasaara replied. He suddenly screwed up his face, and he looked very much like he was going to puke.

**"It finally happened!"**

"What the hell?" Falco said, looking at Rasaara, and edging away. Suddenly two extra arms sprouted from his stomach area, and wings of a dragonfly sprouted out of his back.

**"It finally happened!"**

"Whoa…"

Krima came out of her corner, looking no different then before, except her wings were out and enlarged greatly. There was another loud noise and the sound of metal bending was heard.

"You two get out. I'll handle him." Krima said, shoving them towards one of the secret exits.

BOOM!

"So what are we supposed to do while you do this?"

"Destroy everyone and everything."

"Just like old times, eh?" Rasaara smirked and flew off.

"Wait for me!"

BOOM!

SKREECH!

"Let's go."

And Crazy Hand flew through the blown open door.

Ping!

Down in the basement, the clones' numbers had been reduced to four, and Kirby had just arrived to blow them into the lava. Grothlik had swum to the other shore, where he climbed up a ladder which presumably led out of the basement.

"Let him go. He's just an idiot." Fox said to the Kirbys. "So… Now what?" The Kirbys looked at each other and ran for the elevator. "HEY! WAIT FOR ME!"

Ping!

"Damn button's stuck." Said one of the officers as he tried to get on the elevator. "GET A TECH DOWN HERE AND STEP ON IT!"

"DING! Thank you for riding on me today, and have a pleasant trip." The happy elevator said, opening its doors.

"GET YOUR GUNS READY!" The officer shouted, pointing his own at the elevator.

The doors were fully open, revealing nothing.

"Check it out." The officer said to two of his patrol. The two were about to go in when there was a whirring noise. A small bomb began to walk out. "What is it?" The officer said, about to touch with his finger.

"SIR, DON'T TOUCH-!"

KaBOOOOOOOOOM!

Everyone in a ten foot radius was blown away, and Yellow, Red, Green, Kirby and Fox jumped down from the top.

"C'mon!" Fox shouted as he ran down a hallway, the Kirbys at his heels.

Ping!

Ganondorf punched Samus in the face, sending her sprawling down the tunnel. He leapt after her, but she shot him with her blaster. Ganondorf jumped back but then used Wizard's Foot, and pushed Samus out of the tunnel. He then jumped down, and Samus quickly kicked his feet out from under him. She grappled him and threw him nearly off the cliff. As he tried to get up, Samus shot him with a half charged blaster, which sent him off the cliff. Fortunately, he grabbed hold of the cliff edge with out a moment to spare.

Ping!

Link, Zelda and Roy were still really lame, forgotten and alone.

"How do you think it will take for someone to remember us for a chapter?" Link asked as he slowly swung from his upside down position.

"I'll bet we get in on chapter 18, minimum." Zelda said, not looking hopeful at all.

"I thought there weren't that many chapters left." Roy said, also not looking hopeful.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Isn't something supposed to happen?" Zelda asked to no one in particular.

Behind the area of which was shielded and guarded, Rasaara and Falco planned their move.

"Okay, how well can you snipe?" Falco asked.

"I'm better at close range combat. Here, let me show you my weapon." Rasaara pulled out two tubes about a foot long. The looked really big pills.

"What the hell are those?" Falco asked scornfully. Rasaara pressed a button on the middle of the capsules and the ends extended. The ends then transformed into tridents, and then began to glow green.

"Wha… What the hell is that?" Falco asked, dumfounded. Rasaara ignored him and walked towards the guards.

They (the guards) were talking about some union thing, and how if they didn't get better managements soon, there would be a major strike. Rasaara grabbed the nearest one and broke its head in. Let me remind you that these are machines. Let me also remind you that machines have sensors. The particular sensor I'm about to mention is a danger sensor. It's a simple thing that reads out how hostile, dangerous, or deadly something is going to be, from one to ten. When this thing scanned Rasaara, a six foot eight bug, with four arms, each pair twirling a double edged trident, which was glowing green, the number that popped up on the danger scale happened to be 185.453, on a scale of one to ten.

Obviously, mass carnage of the little toddlers followed. When it was over, Rasaara pushed a button that unlocked the electrical fences. He then flew over to where the dumfounded trio was hanging.

"Hello again." He said cheerfully, and unlocked them from the chains and carried them back to the ledge.

"Where's Fox?" Link asked Falco, who was still dumb struck.

"What? Oh… he's in the basement, that's what we got you guys for."

"Correction. He is no longer in the basement. He and the Kirbys are headed this way." Rasaara said, and how he knew this, I don't know.

"Wait a minute. What do you mean _Kirbys_?" Link asked, starting to look scared. "There aren't more of them, are there?"

"Actually, there are four."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU CAN GET RID OF THAT ҖӘЕРУК АГСЛУК! HAVE YOU EVER GONE GROCERY SHOPPING WITH THAT THING!" Rasaara quickly slapped Link silly and then said "C'mon. We need to meet up with them."

Ping!

The giant hand flew in and banged its middle finger into a computer, which electrocuted him.

"AHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHh!" Crazy Hand shouted. Krima looked at him disdainfully and shot him with some sort of laser. This dislodged him from the computer. He twitched a little, and then flew at Krima as fast as he could. She teleported away, and Crazy smashed into a wall. He got up and shot at Krima with his laser. This she caught and threw back at him. The laser just absorbed into his "skin". He pulled the wall out from behind him and threw it at Krima. She blew it up in mid air and, to her utter surprise, Crazy flew at her. She barely had time to shield when he struck her. The force made Krima slide back up against a wall. Crazy then shot two more lasers. Krima was forced to repel these up, which broke and crumbled on top of her. Crazy then produced a Bob-omb, and threw it at the crumbled mess. The explosion sent Krima through a wall. Crazy laughed and threw flew the roof. Krima's body twitched, and then she began to crawl to the experimental machinery room.

Ping!

Ganondorf pushed himself up, head-butting Samus as he went, and pulled a Matrix, which sent Samus flying. She quickly shot a smart missile from where she lay. Ganondorf quickly shielded, and ran at her.

"You're so predictable." Samus said, and spiraled. Ganondorf stopped short, and punched into the whirling ball of which was Samus. This just sent her slightly higher. When Ganondorf jumped after her, she dropped a mine and sent him flying down. "You are a fool." Samus said.

BOOM!

"Hahahahoohoohoo…"

"What was that?" Ganondorf thought aloud.

Crazy Hand came out of no where and flicked him.

"Must"-twitch-"Destroy"-twitch-"all!"

Boom!

"YEAH! WELL, THIS TIME WE'RE NOT IN A PLASTIC TUBE!" Samus shouted after shooting Crazy. Crazy flew at her, but she jumped out of the way, revealing Ganondorf, who punched him, as hard as possible. This sent Crazy Hand flying, and Samus grappled him. Crazy Hand "stood up" and twirled Samus around by her chain, and then released.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

WHaM!

Samus splattered against a wall. Ganondorf jumped down from where he had been standing and whispered to Samus: "You go high, I go low." and then flung her at Crazy. She grabbed onto his middle finger, and pulled back on it as hard as possible.

"OWEE OWEE OWEE OWEE OWEE OWEE OWEE OWEE OWEE OWEE!" Crazy Hand shouted, trying to buck Samus off. Ganondorf then ran up and did a jump kick into Crazy's middle. Crazy Hand looked at him, and then slapped him into the ground. Samus shot at Crazy wildly, but this did little and Samus was finally thrown off. As she was in the air, she shouted "I WISH THE MASTER HAND WAS STILL ALIVE!" and then splattered into a wall for the second time.

Ping!

/It is done/. And five hundred miles away, a overly large hand woke up and said: "Is the mansion done?"

Rasaara: He's finished! AHAHAHAHAHA! Please excuse the wait, as you can probably tell he rushed the end.

Darkwarrior17: I DID NOT!

Fans that have been waiting too long: THERE HE IS! GET HIM!

Darkwarrior17: AHHHHHH! Run away!

Rasaara: Any way, we have one more reason to add to why this is so late. Boy Scout camp! Well that's that. Chapter countdown: 2 more to go.


	15. The Final Fight

Darkwarrior17: Well fans, here it is. The last chapter of my first story… Well that said and done, I'd like to say thanks to the following:

genny62890: You've edited my story, all 14, soon 15, chapters. Your reviews were obnoxious, you made fun of my spelling errors, but still, you were the 3rd best editor I could have had.

Xaio-Darkcloud: You've reviewed me since day two, and you were one of the few people compelling me. (I figure you probably would have hunted me down if I didn't finish.)

Streek-has-returned471: You only reviewed me once, but you put me on your author alert list… And I hope you read the rest of the story.

Samusgirl: Thanks for reviewing!

Guns and Swords

XV

The Final Fight

In an obscure region of the world, one being dwells on one question: "Am I drunk?" Master Hand thought to himself. "No, I have no memory of drinking. Although that would explain the headache." He looked around. There were several rusted bits of machinery, a bunch of darts, and several burnt bushes. He scratched his… uh… noggin, and thought for a moment. Several moments. This would have gone on for some time if a nerd-angel hadn't appeared.

"Welcome to the after death!" It said in its high squeaky nerd voice. "I'm here to give you a full account of what happened here. But first take this pamphlet." It handed the giant hand a pamphlet entitled, "So You've Screwed Death", with an amusing picture on the front of an angel shooting the Grim Reaper.

"Wait. I was _dead._"

"As a doornail."

Master Hand's… Master Hand was having trouble thinking straight. "That doesn't make any sense!" He shouted.

"Of course it does. Here, use this." The Nerd handed him a needle, with a label of "Master Hand, Death Memory"

"Why should I trust you? This could have AIDS!"

"So?"

"SO I'M NOT TAKING THIS!" Master Hand raised himself in fist form, feeling pretty good that he was doing himself a favor by killing this nerd.

"What if you already have?" Master Hand released his fist, seeing the small puncture wound and an empty needle.

"You-" Master Hand started, and then had a seizure.

Ping!

Ganondorf was hiding behind a rock, hoping that what happened next wouldn't happen.

Wham!

Crazy Hand came down on him, splattering him against the ground.

"Ow…" Ganondorf said weakly. Crazy Hand turned to Samus, who was presently trying to climb a wall to get out of there. Crazy flew at her with increasing speed, and Samus raised her blaster.

"Yeah, that's what you think…" She muttered to herself, and fired. Crazy Hand turned side ways suddenly, and the shot whizzed past him, inches away from him. "WHAT!" Samus cried, and then Crazy slammed into her.

Ganondorf was just getting up when he saw the oncoming light of Samus' blaster shot. "Ooh, crap."

Ping!

"Oh. My. There. They. Are."

"Oh shut up Link, we've got to take down the giant hand." Rasaara was now wondering why he was trying to save this one swordsman of stubbornness.

"Why do we need Kirby for that?"

"Because they're special. And they have a few characters from every video game ever made by Nintendo, with the exception of Bomberman."

"Who?"

"Just shut up Link."

Kirby ran up to Link, and then ate him.

(0.0) 

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Um, Kirby, perhaps you should spit out who ever you have in there."

"WHY DOES THIS ONE HAVE MARTH'S HAIR!" Roy yelled.

"Uh, yeah, Kirby you really might want to tell your friends to as well."

Kirby shook his head, and ran off, with the other puff ball running after him.

"Where are they headed?" Fox asked Rasaara, who was beginning to follow.

"The arena."

"Oh. What could be happening there…?"

Ping!

Crazy Hand had figured out how to beat Ganondorf and Samus simultaneously. He had grabbed Ganondorf by the legs and was slamming him into Samus, who was trying futilely to run away.

"HAHA-! Wham!- HAHA!- Wham!"

Ping!

After having several seizures, six comas, each lasting five to six minutes, a heart attack, a stroke, a heart attack combined with a stroke, and a stroke combines with a seizure, Master Hand got up.

"Ow…"

"Hmm, yes. Did you know that you just beat several records?" The nerd said, looking at a clipboard he had poofed into existence. "Look, I'd love to chat, but I've got to talk to some guy in New Jersey who died momentarily so he could "save" his leg. Although it's not terribly important. He probably went to Hell any way."

"Okay. Well, now that that's done, what am I supposed to do back here?"

"Save the innocent souls of your team. Duh!"

"…"

"Is there a problem?"

"Which one of my teammates has an innocent soul?"

"Oh never mind! Just save the idiots! For the sake of Nintendo 64! For the sake of GameCube!"

"What the heck's a GameCube?" The nerd looked around, and then shocked the Master Hand.

"Just fly Northeast!" He said, disappearing.

"…K." Master Hand said, flying off.

Ping!

"Right. So where are we now?" Falco asked, looking at a long, very deserted hallway. The ceiling was tremendously high, and arched at the top, like some sort of cathedral. At the end there was a great stone door that went to the roof, and the four Kirbys were pounding on it.

"Main hallway, and beyond that door is the arena." Rasaara replied, looking, for some reason, grim. "The doors have been locked, and the only plausible way to open them is through central command. Not that that's the only way. But I don't have a computer, so I can't really hack…"

"No other way is _plausible?_" Fox asked.

"Yes, I believe that is what I just said." Fox and Falco looked at each other.

"I think we've done implausible…"

"Right. On three. One…"

"You're not serious?" Rasaara asked.

"Two…"

"They are, aren't they!"

"THREE!"

"FIRE FOX!"

"FIRE BIRD!"

BOOM!

BOOM!

The pair ran into the doors at maximum speed. Unfortunately, the door was about six feet thick. Also unfortunately, they had decide to head butt it, which, if the doors where not so thick, would have helped, their skulls being so hard. The result was both Fox and Falco sprawled on the floor, wondering if the room would stop spinning so they could die.

"You two really are idiots. Here let me try." Roy walked up to the door, and charged his sword.

"Sigh. This is going to be a while." Rasaara said to himself, sinking to the floor, his back to the wall.

Ping!

Now, all this time you are probably not asking, "What happened to Grothlik?" He was in fact doing nothing in particular. Not terribly true, but what he was doing would probably make this story go up a rating. So for the safety of the rating "T", he was doing nothing. He continued doing nothing until a noise prevented him from concentrating on doing nothing.

CRASH!

"Quite, you! I'm trying to **_do nothing_**." He yelled at what ever the noise was. Funny thing, it got louder.

**CRASH!**

"SHUT UP!"

**CRASH! BOOM!**

"Alright! That's it!" Grothlik put down his nothing and headed across the room. Seconds later Grothlik was suspended in midair, thousands of tiny mechanical tentacles wrapped about his body.

"Erg!" He managed, before the tentacles wrapped around his head.

/You are a fool, Grothlik. A mean fool, as well. Unfortunately, it is not my place to kill you.\ The tentacles then threw him against the wall, knocking him unconscious.

Ping!

Now, all this time you probably have been asking "What happened to Young Link and Captain Falcon?" They, on the other hand, were not doing nothing.

"LET US OUT!" Captain Falcon shouted, for they were suspended, in large glass bubbles at the top of the ceiling. In what room, you ask? Take a guess.

"WHY CAN'T THOSE IDIOTS SEE US!" Young Link shouted to no one in particular.

"I don't know, maybe because we blend in with the ceiling, no one has looked up and THIS BUBBLE IS SOUND PROOF!" Captain Falcon yelled back. "Hey, I've got and idea. Give me one of your bombs."

"Don't light that in here." Young Link said.

"Why?" Captain Falcon said, lighting it.

Boom

This did nothing to the glass that held them. The resulting sent the two flying in all different directions. The bubble rocked on the wires that were holding it to the ceiling. It continued rocking and then…

Creak…

Snap!

All but three wires snapped.

"Uh oh…"

SNAP!

"You… IDIOT!" Link shouted.

SNAP!

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT! HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO-"

SNAP!

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

The glass bubble fell about 100 yards. It was about halfway down when Zelda looked up.

"Ooh… um guys?"

"NOT NOW!" Fox snapped.

"Guys?"

"I SAID QUIET!"

"HIT THE DECK!"

Rasaara, who had been snoozing, woke up. "Eh? What?"

CRASH!

SHATTER!

Thousands of three inch thick glass flew into everyone, with the exception of Zelda, who had shielded.

"You know, I used to think that dying was something that happened only once…" Fox said, looking at a particularly large piece of glass stuck in his nose.

Ping!

Crazy Hand was tired of swinging Samus around. He threw her away and picked up Ganondorf. He began swinging him around and around and around and around and around and around-

Ping!

"So the doors aren't opening." Captain Falcon asked.

"Correct."

"And we need to open it."

"Yes."

"And that's impossible."

"Right."

"Okay. Let me take a crack at it."

"When will these idiots learn?" Rasaara went back to his old position and picked the glass out of his exoskeleton.

Ping!

And around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and released!

Ping!

"Falcon… PUNCH!"

Wham!

Boom!

Ganondorf exploded through the doors, knocking Captain Falcon off his feet into Young Link, and slammed into Fox who was trying to get another large piece of glass out of his behind.

Rasaara looked up. Fox looked dead, Ganondorf as well, Captain Falcon looked dazed, Young Link was crushed under Captain Falcon's weight, Zelda tripped over Captain Falcon, and the Kirbys were laughing their heads off.

Then he looked at the door.

"Oh! Look, it's time to go!"

Ping!

Grothlik, having just been thrown through several walls, crawled up and got to a phone.

"Hello, security central? We have a situation."

Ping!

"Now, where on earth am I supposed to go now?" Master Hand thought to himself, looking at a map.

He had gone for several hundred miles, and was very much lost. He was at a rest station, and one of the civilians had tried to hunt him for sport. He didn't mind. It was actually kind of funny, what he had done to the guy. Several people had commented (while getting into their cars in a slow, careful manner) that they had never seen a single pipe put into so many parts of the human body. But that was beside the point.

"Excuse me, miss," He said to a family that was passing by. "Could you direct me to the Northeast?"

"The Northeast? Why, that's where we just came from! Ain't that right, Pa?"

"Yep!"

"You'll be wanting to go to that them Tourney, right? Well, I wouldn't. That's what's we weres doing. Ain't that right, Pa?"

"Yep!"

"Yeh, youse don't want to go there, everything's in er wreck. Ain't that right, Pa?"

"Yep!"

"What tournament? What wreckage?"

"Youse don't know about et! What are you, some kind of yellow-bellied yokel? Ain't you got a little some thing called Tee Vee? Been all over the noos, ain't that right, Pa?"

"Yep!"

"Right… You wouldn't happen to have a map, would you?"

"Nay, we ain't got no maps between us, them's for wusses! Wese got a sciggly line on er napkin, buts that's nots so helpful. Ain't that right, Pa?"

"Yep!"

"Well, I'd likes to stay ands chat, buts we got to get going." She spat outside the car. "See youse later! Hey Pa, want to get usems a burger?"

"No, I ain't liken dem burgers!"

Ping!

Back at that them Tourney, the group of freaks where out on the arena when alarms began going off.

"Attention, all security to the arena. Repeat, all security to the arena."

"That can't be good…"

In a matter of seconds, a bunch of the little men in hockey masks rushed out of a lot of unnecessary doors, wielding machine guns that probably weren't loaded with darts.

"DUCK AND COVER!" Fox shouted, doing as he had suggested. Most of them willingly complied, but the Kirbys stood where they were and started shaking like crazy. Stars began to pour out of every hole in their body and explode all around them.

"You know, the more you know them, the more you need to know."

"… What?"

"MARTH!" Roy shouted, when he spotted his long lost friend.

"ROY! I WAS IN HELL!"

"Hey, isn't that Ness! And D.K.! And Pikachu! And-" Then Fox remembered that he was the only regular there.

Fox of course was right, but there were many, many others, some who had never been heard of, but others familiar. Mewtwo, Pichu, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, D.K., Mario, Luigi, Mario, Peach, Bowser, and others were popping out of stars right and left. And when they were all out of their stars and the Kirbys had stopped blowing them out, and the Green, Red and Yellow Kirbys flew off, and there was silence. Then Crazy Hand floated over.

"Wa ha hee hee ho wa!"

Samus stood up out of the pile of rubble she had been buried in, and fired upon Crazy Hand, knocking him unconscious.

"YES! AHAHAHAHA! I'VE WANTED TO DO THAT FOR FOREVER!" She shouted.

Then the machine guns when off.

Due to the quick reactions of Mewtwo, Ness, D.K., Bowser, Nana, Popo, Fox and Falco, most of the bullets were repelled. D.K. pounded a hole in the ground where most of the people hid, Mewtwo and Ness stopped the bullets in midair, Nana and Popo made an ice wall, and Fox and Falco reflected them. Samus quickly blasted the hole, widening it, and hopped in, along with anyone else who had stayed up.

"Great. So now we're stuck in a hole. WHAT THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO IN A HOLE?" Samus shouted.

Rasaara went up, smacked her, and said, "We snipe em'. Anyone who's got a long range weapon, shoot them from the top of the hole. Mewtwo, Ness, make a barricade around the hole where we can shoot."

"And why should I be subject to this? I was forced here against my will. What makes you think I will do what you say?" Mewtwo replied, crossing his arms. There was a great chorus of agreement when…

Wham!

Rasaara was holding Mewtwo up against the wall by his wrists and ankles.

"Hurts, doesn't it?" Rasaara asked, as he pushed Mewtwo's arms and legs into the wall. "Don't bother trying to use any psychic attacks. They won't work. Do what I tell you, and then you can go. That sound fair to everyone?" There was silence. "Good. NOW GET MOVING!" He shouted, and released Mewtwo.

As everyone ran to do what they were supposed to do, Rasaara was left with time to think. "Where are you, dammit? I know you're not dead…" He thought to himself.

Meanwhile, Mewtwo and Ness had made a barricade as instructed and anyone with a long range weapon began firing at the robots, who returned fire.

Ping!

Master Hand had finally found someone who was headed in the northeast. Unfortunately for him, it was a pig trucker with a dog in the front seat.

"Fraid you're going to have to sit with the pigs." The trucker had said. "Old Ben here won't sit with em. Hop in."

So now he was stuck in a truck with a bunch of pig that were slopping their food on him and doing the most vulgar things.

"Shoo! SHOO! GET AWAY FROM ME DAMMIT!" Master Hand shouted, as one of the pigs tried to doo on him. "This is by far the worst thing that has ever happened to me!"

Ping!

"This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me!" Ness shouted, only four miles away. "WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Why can't you do something useful for a change and STOP COMPLAINING!"

"Cease fire!" A shout from the robots halted everything. Grothlik stepped up and began to shout. "YOU ARE OUTNUMBERED ABOUT 10 TO 4! SURRENDER NOW OR DIE! IF YOU DO NOT SURRENDER YOUR BONES WILL LITTER THIS HERE ARENA, FOREVER! SURRENDER NOW!"

Grothlik was about to say something else when an arrow shot by Link pierced his neck. Grothlik stared at in surprise for a second and then shouted, "HA! You think your wimpy arrows can hurt me!"

BRzzaP!

A green beam of light came out of one end of Rasaara's double ended trident, hit him in the stomach, and kept going. Grothlik then stared at the hole in his stomach for a few more seconds, and fell to the ground.

"What a moron." Rasaara commented, blowing the smoke away from his tridents.

"What do we do?" One of the robots asked.

"I dunno, kill them?" Said another.

"Sounds good." Said the first, and raised his machine gun.

Then the ground started shaking.

"What's that?" Said the first.

"Dunno." Said the second.

Four tentacles, the exact same as those that had attacked Grothlik, popped out of the ground, wrapped themselves around the two robots and crushed them.

The voice box went on for a couple seconds after its body died.

"You know, that wasn't really fair, was it?" Said the first.

"Must say I agree with you." Said the second.

Tentacles started popping up all over the place, reeking havoc with the machines.

"You know, on any other day, this would surprise me." Fox said.

"No kidding."

"AHAHAHAHAHA! I KNEW SHE WASN'T DEAD."

"She?"

/Well, technically I am dead\

"Ah. The dragoon, combined with the wire tentacles."

/Correct.\

"WHAT THE HELL! I'M HEARING A VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD! DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THAT'S WEIRD!"

"… Not really."

The ground pretty much exploded where the recently destroyed machines were, and out popped who else but… (Drum roll please…) ……………KRIMA! Her batish body was in a tube filled with some sort of green liquid that was attached to what looked like a upside down turtle shell. This was attached to several dog collar things that had many of the little tentacles that had been destroying the machines. All this machinery looked fairly new, but Krima was looking worse than ever. She had scars all over her face, and her wings were tattered and broken. Her eyes where unblinking, tubes were stuck all over her body.

"Um, you look nice." Samus, commented, trying to rid them of the awkward silence that had befallen them.

Peach snorted. Several tentacles then picked her up by her legs and whirled her around and around and around and around and around and around. By the time she let her down, Peach didn't look so good herself.

"Ha ha, Peach looks like she was just on the Millennium Falcon!" Yoshi laughed, in his own language, so it sounded more like "Whoa WHOA, Hmmmmmmm BEOW HMMMMMM whoa!"

Peach quickly flipped threw her Guided to Freakish Languages, read for a second, and hit Yoshi with a golf club.

"Heya a now, he was nota deserving that!" Luigi exclaimed.

He was also hit with the golf club. Peach continued swinging it until Samus caught it, snapped it in half, and kicked Peach in the stomach.

"NOA ONE HURTSA MY PEACHY!" Mario exclaimed, and ran at Samus. Fox calmly pulled out his gun and was about to shoot Mario when Kirby ate him, for no particular reason.

"AHHHH! HE ATE FOX!" Falco shouted, and began shooting Kirby.

"Hey! No one's allowed to hurt Kirby but me!" Link shouted.

"YES!" Young Link ran up to the pink puffball and began hitting it with his sword. Then Falco accidentally shot Young Link, and Link had to defend his honor with the bird, as Ness and Young Link got into a fist fight.

"Hey! Everyone! Calm downaaAAHHHH!" Doctor Mario was saying, until both D.K. and Bowser body-slammed him.

About now everyone was hurting everyone, and Crazy Hand woke up.

"He he he he hee heeee!" He said, and then dove into the ruckus.

This continued for about five minutes when a shout went up over the arena.

"SHOTGUN!"

BOOM!

Pretty much everyone was thrown up against the wall.

There stood Master Hand, in a fist, looking slightly amused, or he would if hands could show expression.

"Hmmm, I'll have to remember that… ALL RIGHT! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!"

About two thirds of the people there pointed at Kirby, while everyone else pointed at Crazy Hand.

"Oh, hello Crazy. What are you doing here…?" He looked at the robots, the carcass of Grothlik, and the slightly burning arena. "Um, seriously, what happened here?" It took about a second for Krima to flash all the images into Master Hand's brain. "…Okay, I get very little of what's going on here, so I'll ask a different question: Who are all of you?"

About anybody who was new to this group began shouting something to the effect of "I WAS FORCED HERE AGAINST MY WILL BY A GIANT FLOATING…" ending with either Hand or Puffball.

Master Hand turned to Crazy. "Okay, I have another question: Did you have me killed?"

"Heee, the numbers of 3 to the 52nd power dived by 3, 50 times will tell you."

Master Hand counted on his fingers. "9?"

"YES! AHAHA! Weeeeeeee Heeee Heeeee Heeee!"

BOOM!

"Must… Kill… Hand…!" Samus said turning her blaster away from Crazy and towards Master Hand.

"Now wait a minute, hold on!"

Fortunately for Master Hand, Link jumped at Samus, knocking her off balance, and then Fox and Roy began trying to hurt Link, and the hurting and the violence and the hoo ha hey began up again, this time Master Hand joining in.

Several minutes later…

"Hey there!"

Everyone turned.

"Beeep beep beep! Bee beep beep beeeeeep! (Oh my gosh! It's the CEO of Nintendo! I haven't seen you in ages!)" Game and Watch ran up to the CEO of Nintendo, for that's who it was, and slapped him with a frying pan. "BEEP BEEP BEEP! (BRING BACK MY GAME, YOU!)"

"Slow down there, G&W! I have a better idea! How 'bout I keep you all here in a video game of your own!"

"Better idea. Why don't we all move somewhere south, and build a Mansion, and then make a video game of our own." Master Hand suggested.

"That'll work too!"

Ping! (Sob! It's the last!)

Much later…

The Mansion was built (without any sonic cannons of any kind) and a video game was being set up. In the meantime, everyone got to relax and see Rasaara and Krima off.

"Why can't you stay longer? Please please please please PLEASE!" Fox asked for the thousandth time.

"I SAID NO! GAHHH!"

/The Xel' Naga are within a warp field. They will have a warp field stabilized soon.\

"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?"

"I must say, it would be interesting if you could teach me some psychic techniques before this tournament starts." Mewtwo commented.

"We're not staying! There's a whole Galaxy to see! WHY WOULD WE WASTE OUR LIVES HERE!"

/And not life.\

"YEAH!"

"Warp field stabilized." A voice boomed out of nowhere.

"See! That's our cue. Don't cry for too long, we will visit!"

"REALLY!"

"Yeah…"

"SWEAR YOU!"

"Fine, I was just kidding, we'll visit! NOW LET'S GET GOING!" Rasaara shouted and jumped into the warp field which appeared from out of nowhere.

/We will see you\ Krima said, crawling into the field.

"BYE!" Everyone yelled as the warp field closed.

"You know, I think I'll stay in the mansion for the next year and a half." Master Hand said, to no one in general. "The world sucks, and I don't think that I will ever get over the month and half."

"You realize that you have a video game to make?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

THE END

Darkwarrior17: Well, I guess there's very little I can say. Although, I would like to tell you that I'm working on several stories, which you can expect out by December, at the latest. My story that's already up (Nintendo Wars) is going to be put on hold because it's so darn vast. I mean, its mind boggling how much there is going to be. So, I'm going to post five chapters of those of which are in my head, and the work on Nintendo Wars. Until then, you can read this story over, and over, and over and… yeah. Bye bye!


End file.
